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I Just Broke Up with My Massage Therapist

Published by Karen Gross in Humor
February 6th, 2011

Do you feel like you need to stay loyal to your massage therapist, your hair dresser, or your doctor?

I have a confession to make. I just broke up with my massage therapist. Even worse, I cheated on her with another massage therapist. Then I left her for my new masseur. I feel so disloyal.

Do you ever feel guilty for wanting to change doctors, physio therapists, hair dressers, or any other professional? Especially if you have been with them for a long time, and you don’t have a really good reason for wanting to make the change.

 We develop an odd sort of relationship with these people. We share some of our most intimate moments – like the doctor who delivered my babies, and they know way too much about us. I see my hairdresser for about an hour and a half every eight weeks, but she is the only person who knows what colour my hair really is.

I had been with my massage therapist for an hour once or twice a month for at least five years. But then a friend of mine got her certification as a registered massage therapist, and I thought I should give her a try. She was very good, had more time slots available, and charged less, but I still felt guilty telling my former therapist.

Is this weird?

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  1. Posted February 6, 2011 at 2:59 am

    It may not be uncommon to feel guilty, but you shouldn’t. In fact, you should experiment with different people.

  2. Posted February 6, 2011 at 5:03 am

    No. It is not wierd. My daughter has been going to the same hairdresser for 10 years or longer now, but in the last year or so, he has been falling short on the work that he does for her, and he is about the most expensive hairdresser in our little city. She has gently told him 3 or 4 times what the problems have been, and she wants to change hairdressers, but she doesnt want to lose the bond they have had for so many years.

  3. Posted February 6, 2011 at 5:27 am

    I know how you feel, and I enjoyed reading your wit and perspective. It’s good to move around — variety being the spice of live and all.

  4. Posted February 6, 2011 at 6:52 am

    I don’t think you should feel guilty, it is your choice to make.

  5. Posted February 6, 2011 at 7:29 am

    well … you would definitely find this article useful


    I hope it will help you to forget your Ex …. masseur


  6. Posted February 6, 2011 at 10:30 am

    I find the way you wrote this really interesting, it’s a way of looking at it most people wouldn’t even think of. I’ll probably be reading more stuff from you :)

  7. Posted February 6, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    Well done on this article. Check out https://www.surveysavvy.com?id=4333274&action=join if you want passive income online, it works for me and Triond just doesn’t match up.

  8. Posted February 6, 2011 at 9:02 pm

    No, I don’t think it’s weird at all. You have had a long-term relationship with this person, even though it is on a professional level, and I understand how you might feel guilty for :”leaving her” for someone else. It’s not rational or necessary, but feelings seldom are.

  9. Posted February 6, 2011 at 11:24 pm

    Being advised that it is ok to feel guilty or to do what you did does not remove the guilt at all. It may be lessened for a while thinking that more people seem to support your action anyway, but for as long as the source of the guilt has not been dealt with accordingly, you will continue to feel you have done something wrong.

    What I would do if I were you is to go back one day to my former therapist, engage him or her and tell her casually that i have a close friend who just got a certification, and i hope she would not mind if i go and try her services one of these coming days.

    I am sure she will not mind, but best of all, I will get my relief.

  10. Posted February 7, 2011 at 1:43 am

    Oh Karen, you have reminded me that once I could afford to have a massage regularly! How I miss that now I’m not working full-time. I once had a masseur to die for. Since moving towns I’ve found no one to compare. I can understand your feelings here. It is a really hard call isn’t it.

  11. Posted February 7, 2011 at 2:57 am

    This is a goodly written piece, Karen.

    I would not feel guilty at all, because after all, it is a business decision that you have made for yourself. Don’t forget, that the professional which are in our lives are being paid to be there for us. If we move or change to someone else, then it’s the best decision that we are making for whatever the reasons for our lives.

    I think that it is great that you have chose to give your friend an opportunity to work for you and build her business. It is extremely difficult to build any kind of business in the first place, but counting on friends as yourself, the business may be thriving in short order.

    Good luck with your masseur and do you dare feel guilty for making a sound decision like this one for yourself. You former masseur will do just fine and get other clients.

    Your Brother in Christ,

    Nelson Doyle

  12. Posted February 7, 2011 at 4:16 am

    Commenting as a massage therapist, no you shouldn’t feel guilty; clearly you’re a person with heart and a conscience. However, we are taught in massage school to remain ‘detached’ from our clients as well we have to be. The information you have confided in these professionals should remain confidential and we are like any other service providers competiting for your time and money. You have the right to choose. :-)

  13. Posted February 7, 2011 at 10:07 am

    I think people build up a loyalty to the ones they interact with Karen and that is what makes it so difficult to change without guilt. We live in a small community and I can think of several services we have dealt with for years. As long as they are giving good service , for us, there is no need to change.Your change was a positive one as you are giving your friend new business that I’m sure is needed to get established so I wouldn’t let the guilt ride to heavy on your mind. A wonderful write and I love the humor you use in your articles.

  14. Posted February 7, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    I understand completely

  15. Posted February 7, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    I know how you feel! I feel guilty even choosing a different hairdresser at the same salon. Oh the looks of reproach you can get. In the end you have to do what is best for you as your massage therapist will always no doubt do what suits them.However you look at it, it still feels like you are letting them down.
    This is because you are a kind person and there is no shame in that.

  16. Posted February 7, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    I agree with you. I had this terrible hairstylist who butchered my hair, but who was so nice and talkative and I didn’t know how to “break up” with her. When a friend of mine started doing hair out of her home and was talented and less expensive and a close friend, I felt relieved to have a good excuse to leave the other hairdresser. Funny how we feel guilty over things like this!!!

  17. Posted February 7, 2011 at 7:54 pm

    I don’t think you should feel guilty either…good for you.

  18. Posted February 8, 2011 at 12:35 am

    Don’t feel guilty you have to do what you have to do. I once had a hairdresser I really loved but she kept moving to a different shop. She finally moved to far for me to drive. I went back to the old place close to my house and found Debbie, she is better than the other girl anyway. We have had a hair relationship for five years now.

  19. Posted February 8, 2011 at 4:51 am

    oh… cheer up though.

  20. Posted February 8, 2011 at 6:54 am

    I think you must not feel guilty about it; I just broke with a hair-stylist of my daughter as they are now not giving their best shot.

  21. Posted February 8, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    I don’t think we should be committed to visiting the same doctor or hair dresser, etc. for years. Just go for the option that is better for you.

  22. Posted February 8, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    We have such guilt when we really should not. Perhaps this is one of YOUR times not to feel guilty about changing. Price, more convenience and a friend in the business, should be reason enough with just one of those.

  23. Posted February 9, 2011 at 8:17 am

    I can’t say that I’ve ever had this problem, but I can understand why you feel the way that you do.

  24. Posted February 9, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    I went to a physio-massage therapist a few months ago. While it did limber my spine, hips and shoulders up nicely, it really did not ‘do it’ for me. I did note however that the physio-therapist was exceptionally attractive; thin, tall, blonde, blue-eyed and oh never mind.. Likely I’d not go again for massage/therapy, it would be kewl to do coffee and carrotcake with her sometime. ;-)

  25. Posted February 9, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    not at all.

    you are they customers, it is their job.

    if you found somebody better, it means you don’t need them anymore, pure and simple

  26. Posted February 9, 2011 at 11:29 pm

    You have the right.

  27. Posted February 10, 2011 at 11:01 pm

    cheer up! many makes the same as you did! :)

  28. Posted February 10, 2011 at 11:12 pm

    It’s just a biz. Don’t worry your tender heart.

  29. Posted February 11, 2011 at 5:34 am

    Is this wierd? Yes. But then it’s wierd to spend an hour and a half getting your hair done. I’m in and out of the barber’s chair in under 10 minutes. Women! (Yes, only teasing.)

  30. Posted February 11, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    Oh we sure can feel like we are betraying our service provider. I changed dog groomers last year and to this day I hope I never run into the other groomer that we went to for 8 years.

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