The Experiment Begins

I had always heard the Jews were secretly trying to take over the world. They control the banks. They control the corporations. They control the government. Heck, they even control Hollywood! (My sources for this information shall remain anonymous to protect the guilty).

So, that being the case, I decided a decade or so back that I would go under cover and investigate the truth for myself. I decided to marry a Jew! That’s right, I would marry a Jew at the risk of drawing the ire of my fellows.

It didn’t take long before I found the right victim … er, I mean girlfriend. I was a journalist back then, one of the liberal elite, so she had little trouble accepting me into her secretive conclave.

Then we got married almost eight years ago. Since then I have been keeping my eyes and ears open to discover the secrets of the modern Jewish underworld.

The Test

But first, just after we go married, I had to test my new wife to see how far I could push things. One morning while we were sitting together over bowls of Grape-Nuts at the breakfast nook in our house, I said, “You know, the Jews killed Jesus.”

She glared at me. “We most certainly did not!”

“Yes, they did,” I said. “It’s in the Bible.”

“No, they did not.”

“Yes, they did.”

“Did not.”

“Did, too.”

“Not.”

“Too.”

“Look,” she finally said, “even if Jews were responsible for the death of Jesus, you can’t go around blaming an entire people for the actions of a few.”

“Sure, you can,” I said.

She continued to glare at me. “If that were the case,” she went on, “the Romans were just as guilty.”

“They were,” I said. “I don’t like them, either. Dirty Italians.”

It was a cold house for a few weeks after that, but at least I had learned some of my limits.

The First Evidence

Shortly after we moved into our first house, I noticed my wife kept receiving in the mail bulky envelopes with a Star of David printed on the front and a return address to a local synagogue. Ah ha! Secret correspondence! I had her now. I opened up one of the packages to find a calendar inside with markings on particular dates. What was this? Secret meetings? Dates for gathering to discuss further world domination?