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Jokes on Adolf Hitler!

Published by love2play in Humor
September 10th, 2010

Please do not read these if you are not fond of dirty, sick, racist, crude, and corny jokes.

   Jokes On Adolf Hitler!

Be warned : The jokes are crude and may be insulting. Please do not read if you are not ready for this.

1. Hitler was one of the most evil men in history.
He ordered the mass genocide of 6 million Jews and was pretty much responsible for kicking off World War II.
Although, on the plus side, if he hadn’t have done all that there would be no Call of Duty: World at War

2. Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.

3. I went to a fancy dress party the other day dressed as Adolf Hitler.
Everyone thought it was hilarious.
Until they found three dead Jews in the cloakroom.

4. Hitler was inspecting one of his camps when he meets a little girl. 
He asks the girl how old she is and she says, “I’m turning 10 tomorrow.” to which Hitler responds, “No you’re not.”

5. Why is it that, when the Sealed Knot recreate Civil War battles, it’s considered to be enriching historical entertainment and a nice family day out but, when me and a few mates attempt to recreate the holocaust, we all get arrested?

6. Did you see when Adolf Hitler was a guest baddie on Scooby Doo?
He had a pretty dastardly plan, and he would have got away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling yids!

7. What did Hitler say to his troops before they got in their tanks?
“Get in your tanks.”

8. Three women, a German, a Jew and a Pollack, all gave birth to seven pound baby boys at the same time. The nurses got the babies mixed up somehow and couldn’t tell which baby belonged to which mother. 
After an hour of mass confusion the father of the German baby decided he would settle the problem. He walked into the nursery and lined up the three infants in a row. He then clicked his heels, raised his arm in a salute and shouted, “Heil Hitler!”
The German baby snapped to attention, the Jewish baby shit its pants and the Polish baby shoveled it up.

9. Hitler walks into a library and asks for a book on Genocide.
The librarian says “Fuck Off you won’t finish it”

10 I wonder if – when he was a sperm and made it to the egg, killing 40 million others – Hitler looked back and thought, “I can do better than that.”

11. I’m thinking of writing a romantic comedy about Hitler.
I’m going to call it “He’s Just Not That Into Jews”

12. I’m not saying that Hitler didn’t make some mistakes. Fair enough he gassed six million Jews; tried to conquer Europe and planned to ethnically cleanse the world, but my God he knew how to look after a moustache.

13. Say what you want about Hitler.
But he never backed down from a double donkey dare

14. You’d think Hitler would have got a nuke by the end of ww2, what with his 6 million killstreak and all…

15. BBC News: Can anyone control immigration?
Well, the last bloke who tried it, shot himself in a bunker in 1945, so I wouldn’t bother if I was you?

16. I often wonder if Hitler did really commit suicide …
By all accounts, he didn’t have the balls to do it

17. Hitler walks past the long queue of jews outside a gas chamber, and calls up on a kid. 
- What do you wanna be, son? 
- Uuuhhh Ooohh. A footballer………………… or……………..or…………….a pilot. Yes.
-No I meant, Soap, or Leather Jacket.

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14 Comments
  1. callum
    Posted January 13, 2011 at 7:56 am

    i really like this

  2. Posted January 15, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    Thanks

  3. Posted January 22, 2011 at 8:54 am

    good one

  4. khfjkdshgjkhdxhukds
    Posted February 2, 2011 at 7:20 am

    these are really bad D:

  5. tsomm
    Posted February 14, 2011 at 11:38 am

    yeah theses jokes suck

  6. Posted February 25, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Those jokes are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!

  7. jordan
    Posted March 20, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    soap

  8. Posted March 27, 2011 at 10:13 am

    weird

  9. Kenzie:D
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 10:55 pm

    OMG this so wrong but HILARIOUS!

  10. NoahFence
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    Why didn’t Hilter Drink Tequila?

    It made him mean!

  11. Posted June 18, 2012 at 10:20 am

    thanks fellas :)

  12. Mike
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 3:07 am

    Fuck yes x’D

  13. Mike
    Posted November 14, 2012 at 3:09 am

    Fuck yes x\’D

  14. germany suckes
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 6:55 am

    lol

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