Jokes to Make You Snicker

Published by in Humor
25th Nov 2016

I’m sharing these jokes I found in the Good News Weekly. I hope they give you a laugh or two, just as they did me. Enjoy.

First Things First

Asking the children in my Sunday class, “If I sold my car and house, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I go to heaven?” “NO”, the children all answered. “If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I go to heaven?” Again the answer was “NO”. Well, I continued,” then how would I get into heaven?” In the back of the room, a 5 year old boy shouted, “You gotta be dead”.

Finest Praying

Three neighbors were discussing the proper position and attitude for prayer. One said, “You should be on your knees and head bowed in reverence to the Almighty.” The second man spoke up, saying, “Remember that you were created in God’s-image. the position in which to pray is to stand up looking into the heavens into the face of God and talk to him a s a child to his father.” The third man spoke up, “I don’t know about any of these positions, but the finest praying I ever did was upside down in a well.”

Playing Church

A mother looked out the window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He had them lined up and was preaching to them. the mother turned around to do some work. A while later she heard meowing and scratching at the door. She went to the window and saw Johnny baptizing the kittens. She opened the window and said, “Johnny, stop that! You’ll drown those kittens.” Johnny looked at her and said with much conviction in his voice. ” They should have thought of that before they joined my church.”