Let’s Wipe a Country Off The Earth

Published by in Humor
10th Jun 2010

Wiping a country off the face of the earth is a hard and daunting hypothetical task that must be done in ones life. I have been thinking the past few days and I’ve finally come to a good and smart conclusion. Lets take a look at my results.

France
See now I was thinking about wiping France off the face of the earth with all their baguette eating, wine drinking 10 year old kids too. Wouldn’t the world be a better place all in all if we just nuked every single inch of their frog and snail munching country? Well I didn’t think so. One day I want to go to France so that takes that off my list and come on who isn’t a 10 year old town drunk in the modern age.

Germany
Ok so these guys are pretty much the antagonists of the world wars so why wouldn’t we want to invade and destroy every part of Germany, even Berlin… No Wait Especially Berlin. It wouldn’t be a hard decision to press “the button” on these guys they’ve never really contributed anything good to society other than a Holocaust and turning the “Jew” into a sort of joke by Hitler trying to eradicate them. But No I couldn’t let these guys go. They have Oktoberfest and I met a few cool ones a little while back. So Clemens you’re safe

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America
I would love to wipe these fat lards off the world. The home of modern consumerism would all but be annihilated and all would return to the stone age. Ole Tyler Durden would be happy with me for taking these gloops of fat out. It is true that they are doing an abomination to the environment and human image, maybe even possibly having an effect on the human genetic code with all the chemicals that get into their bodies somehow. But no these guys get my tick. I want to go try all these fatty foods before the implode on themselves due to consumerism and stuff. I don’t have to take these guys out, they’ll take themselves out.

China
Home of MSG and everything good wouldn’t it be lovely to abolish these guys. I would take great pleasure to nuke these guys, they eat all the MSG they want and stay as skinny as twigs. I say we take these guys out before their genetic resistance to fat gain and other chemicals pollutes our gene pools. When the Nuclear Winter comes or Global Warming starts to get noticeable I want these guys gone because I want all the fat I can get to survive for as long as possible without food. Alas these guys make the cut though. I like Chinese food way too much.

So who would I wipe off the earth?

AUSTRALIA!!!
Who wouldn’t take these kangaroo loving, koala hugging, kookaburra shagging, thong wearing, ball rollers *Be a New Zealander to get that one*. Yes I am a New Zealander and I would rate this a bit bias but come on what have the aussies ever done for you? Lets bomb them! Destroy them! Eradicate! Annihilate! Abominate!!! So in my hypothetical quest to finish one country off I’ve chosen aussie as my hit victim. New Zealand will no longer live as the little brother to Australia, rather the country beside the radiated, nuclear wasteland.

haha no hostility actually to the aussies just a bit of fun ^_^

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