Ten Gifts That You Should Not Get Your Sweetheart for Christmas

Ah Christmas shopping. The bustling crowds and the noisy atmosphere are sure to stress you out. You’re always looking for that perfect gift. When it comes to making your sweetheart happy, it can really be a difficult task. Here are ten gifts that you should not get your sweetheart if you want to have a Merry Christmas:

1. A decorated oven mitt. Unless you want to be smacked by the oven mitt, stay away from this item.
2. A garden tool set. This is a particularly bad idea if your honey hates gardening. She just might want to take the shovel and #@$% you.
3. A collector’s tin of prunes. You better plan to make a run for it if you surprise your sweetheart with this gift.
4. A Cabbage patch doll with real cabbage. Not even a vegetarian will appreciate this treasure.
5. A set of handkerchiefs with the initial C. This is an unwise choice if your honey does not have a name that begins with the letter C.
6. A set of barbells. Didn’t you remember that your sweetie hates to lift a finger doing anything? Watch out where she throws those barbells.
7. A set of paintbrushes. Are you trying to tell your honey something? It won’t work.
8. A toilet cover. You’ve talked about replacing the old toilet cover, but Christmas is just not the right moment.
9. A garden hose. Do you want to squeeze your honey and hold her tight or would you prefer to be wrapped around a garden hose?
10. A gourmet collection of Cheese Whiz. This is almost as bad as getting a giant fruitcake. You’re honey will not be amused. Plan on sleeping alone tonight.