You’ve been neglectful. You haven’t taken a shower in days. People are beginning to notice. Here are ten hints that it may be time to take that much needed shower:

1. Your girlfriend moves farther and farther away from you. She refuses to hold hands with you.
2. You walk past flowers in your house and they all of a sudden collapse.
3. Your dirty socks smell better than you.
4. Your teacher sprays the air whenever you walk into her room.
5. People start calling you grimmy. They start wearing air masks whenever you’re around.
6. You place a tooth under your pillow. In the morning, you discover that under your pillow is a bar of soap.
7. A sign is posted at your bedroom door. It says, “Enter at your own risk. Fummigation is imminent.”
8. Your hair is so full of dandruff flakes that people are starting to sing, “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.”
9. Your deodorant puts up a white flag and surrenders.
10. When you ask what is on television tonight, your brother let’s you know what is on smellovision. He then leaves the couch and goes into his bedroom to escape the horrible smell.