You have arrived at class late again. You’ve got to come up with some new excuses for being late. Try these ten new ideas on for size:

1. My psychiatrist told me that I have to slow down. He said that I’ve been running myself to the ground. Would you believe that this is the third class in a row that I’ve been late to class?
2. I knew that I shouldn’t have bought this watch from the guy downtown. He said that it was an original Seiko watch and that it worked just fine.
3. I had to go  to the bathroom. I had to do a number 1, a number 2, and a number 3 at the same time.
4. My ex-girlfriend cornered me in the hall. She wouldn’t let me leave. My ears are still ringing from her yelling.
5. I love being late. I love to serve detention. I never want to leave school. If you saw what my home looked like, you wouldn’t want to leave here either.
6. I was overcome by the odor of my new cologne. I literally passed out. A hall guard had to assist me to the main office.
7. I developed stomach cramps from the cafeteria lunch. Lucky for you, I made it here. Oh, oh. I think that I’m about to puke.
8. Did you see that elephant in the hallway? I was mesmerized by it.  Anyway, I’m here but I believe that the elephant is late to class.
9. How do you expect me to hear the bell when I’m wearing my headphones?
10. What’s the big deal? You always start off with a boring lecture. In fact, you’re so boring that you could put the entire symphony orchestra to sleep.
    

Image via Wikipedia