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You go to your car in the morning, and you discover that you have a flat tire. You’re really upset. Here are some remarks that you might say when you notice that you have a flat tire:

1.   Just great! I bought new tires yesterday at Freddy’s Discount Shop and look at this flat. I hope Freddy has insurance after I get ahold of him.

2.   My tire is as flat as my flat headed husband who was suppose to put air in my tires yesterday.

3.   Son of a #@!%. My boss is going to fry me like an over cooked omelet.

4.   I use a patch to stop smoking. I didn’t know that I needed a patch to stop air from leaving my tire.

5.   I just cancelled my road repair policy. What’s next? Am I going to have a flooded basement after I cancelled my homeowner’s policy?

6.   This tire was suppose to last for 40,000 miles. Instead, it lasted only 4,000 miles. Someone made a real typo error.

7.   First my boyfriend punctures our relationship. Now my boyfriend has punctured my tire.

8.   Why can’t my tire just regenerate and come back to life?

9.   This has not been a good year and neither has my tire.

10. I see. Roadside repair shall be out in five hours. Why not make it an even six since I obviously have nothing better to do with my time. For crying out loud, what the hell could possibly take you so long? Are you playing a game called Aggravation? You sure are good at it.