15 Fortune Cookies From Your English Teacher

Published by Steven West in Life
February 25, 2009

Humorous and insightful fortune cookies from your English Teacher.

Your life will soon be punctuated with much doubt and uncertainty
You need to have fewer fragments in your life
Writing a story is a novel idea. Do it today.
The future subject of your success is predicated on many complicated factors
You must cut down on your hyperboles in order to be more believable with your friends
You will live through many difficult periods in your life
You are about to go on a metaphorical journey with your wife
Be strong! Be forceful! No further exclamation is needed
“Don’t look now but you are being surrounded by quotation marks.”.
Never question the motives of a person without a question mark
You are about to be promoted. Capitalize on the opportunity.
Dangling a sentence is like dangling a relationship; it’s bound to lead you nowhere
You need to be aware of where you put the pants that you are about to wear
Books provide lasting memories. Television provides cotton for the mind.
The F that you are about to receive on your report card does not mean fine, fantastic, or fabulous

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