Fifteen Things that You Should Not do in the Classroom

It’s great to be a student. School can be a lot of fun, but also a lot of hard work. You want to do well in school. This is not a time to goof off and act like a fool. However, some students just don’t know how to behave. Here are fifteen things that you should not do or have in the classroom:

1. Do not fall asleep in the classroom. The next dream that you have will be in the principal’s office.
2. Do not swear or yell obscenities. Remember: You want to get at least a B in your class and not a BS.
3. Do not wear low cut clothes, tank tops, or hats in the classroom. If it looks wrong or bad, it probably is.
4. Do not wear nose rings or have any inappropriate body piercing objects. If you can’t pass the metal detector, you aren’t going into the classroom.
5. No video games, cell phones, MP3 players, or other electronic devices designed to drive your teacher crazy. So call me old fashioned. You may do your work with an abacus. Eventually, you will be able to do some work on computers. Our computers are only ten years old.
6. No making spit balls and throwing them across the classroom. You know whom you are that is doing this. Now cut it out!
7. No heavy breathing in the classroom. This is only allowed if you have an asthmatic condition. Make sure that you bring a note from your doctor.
8. Do not sing in the classroom. Leave it for the choir. Screeching is not the same as talking.
9. Do not cheat on your tests. Remember: I have eyes in the back of my head. By the way, I am secretly an alien. If I catch you cheating, you will be vaporized.
10. No kissing, necking, or smooching in the classroom. The only thing that I want to see you kiss is your final exam.
11. Absolutely no farting in the classroom. I have a smell detector. If you pass gas, you will be sent out of class.
12. Do not pick your nose in the classroom. Stay home if you have a cold. I’m not doing a lecture on Boogertown.
13. Do not leave your desk a mess or the floor around you a mess. Remember: If your desk isn’t clean, I will be mean. You’ll serve one-hour detention with yours truly.
14. Do not eat food in the classroom. You can wait until lunchtime. If I see a snack in your mouth, you will spit it out. Also, no chewing gum in the classroom. If I see you blowing gum, your day in the classroom is done.
15. No hitting or punching anyone in the classroom. If you don’t like someone in class, just fake it. I want to see a lot of smiles and bright faces. Make your teacher happy so that he can retire with his health intact.