There are many perplexing questions in the Western world, but none more so than whether the toilet seat should be left up or left down after use. This question has troubled mankind since the advent of the sit on loo.

It was not such an issue further back when men were men and women were glad of it. It was left up because a man had used it and he may need to come back later so lets just leave it ready. So what about the rights of women, do they have a say. Should they not be shown some courtesy or do they have to rush in and have to go to the through the rigmarole of putting the seat down prior to their relief. How thoughtless. Well in those times, quite simply, no, women had no rights or say. Men were out busy building railroads, shooting bears, chopping trees, building townships, the least a woman could do was put the seat down. And anyway, it’s exercise.

The case for leaving the toilet seat up in Australia is quite strong. The red backed spider with its potentially fatal bite, loves the shady cosy space left under a lowered toilet seat. Most spider bites and deaths in Australia happened in this quite place of contemplation. But that was before they brought the dunny inside. Modern plumbing eh, no more spider bites.

Times have changed. The argument to leave the toilet seat up or down is now back on the agenda big time and has a worrying gender bias to the opinion. Worrying because that means half the people will be annoyed by any decision that is made, and they will carry the burden of feeling oppressed around with them like a burning coal. But there is an answer, a breakthrough has been made.

How the best answers in life are so simple, and here is this one. The toilet seat and lid should always be closed. Who wants to look into the toilet any way and isn’t it funny how many items you can drop down an opened toilet. When the man wants to go, he lifts the lid and seat in one motion and closes it after use. If the woman wants to go, she simply lifts the lid. Both have to bend down and do some work, no-one is left out and no more mobile phones get dropped in, no more “ Where is the pussy cat” only to find the poor thing crying from the bowl.

You see, the Battle of the Sexes can be arbitrated. We can have equality, at least in the bathroom.