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A Day in the Life of a Guy Married to a Witch

Published by Patrick Bernauw in Life
November 27, 2008

Great Inspirational and Motivational Quotes. The Life and Times of this Guy could be a True Example for all of us!

After more than 25 years of marriage with the same Witch - her name is Little Wicca - this Guy (yeah, that’s his name) still wakes up every morning feeling jolly and jovial and full of good humor. He always says “Hi!” to his favorite pet, who usually listens to the name “Silly Willy”.

Always Say Hi To A Colleague When You Wake Up In The Morning!

This Guy goes to work, now. His job: collecting IFO’s (Identified Flying Objects) - merely MFB’s (Magical Flying Broomsticks) - that came tumbling down, because there was a problem with the Magic Spell his wife or one of her colleagues used that night.

When you’re at work, there is always at least one other guy who hasn’t nothing better to do than to ask you dull and/or dumb questions about the job you’re doing. For instance:

“Hey Guy! What’s your problem, man?”

“She was trying the automatic pilot.”

“So what?”

“This type MFB don’t have them.”

“Oh.”

“And the Landing Mechanism didn’t work!”

“Ah, I see. Why not?”

“It doesn’t do that when it’s OFF.”

“Jeez’!”

If he goes on, saying: “There are dead insects on the windshield.” - Then never mind, give him some funny answer like: “Oh, that’s okay, I ordered some living ones.” And please, keep smiling. Don’t tell him to f**k OFF, even if your p**ssed OFF because you’re having an OFF Day with the Big D and your wife’s MFB is a Total Loss.

Stay Witzy! Even if you’re married to a Witch!

And keep in mind, you will be a very much pleasant person if you take your time to relax, so…

Have a Little Siesta! Even when you’re Supposed to be at Work!

But then… Don’t be angry if she wakes you!

Just think: “Hey! That’s my beloved wife! There she is, at last! She works long shifts at night, and I have not seen her the whole f*****g day, I have to be pleased to see her!”

What’s The Secret of a Long & Lasting Marriage, even when you’re married with a witch?

Be Pleased, Even If You’re Getting Teased!

And remember:

A Tickle a Day, Keeps the Lawyer Away!

Another Secret:

Don’t be jealous if a much younger Guy drives her to a Sabbatical Meeting, because her broomstick got broken!

Don’t make a remark when you hear her scream with pleasure, as if this is the last step to her Ultimate Happiness. Don’t be upset, when - afterwards - you hear him saying things like: “That hot chick is crazy for me and she keeps craving for me every night!”

Think about the Great Pills of Fire you have bought on the internet (“Have the Area in Your Pants Classified as X-Files!”) and know:

You Always Can Get Some Bonus Centimeters Too!

Give her a lift home after the meeting.

And in stead of watching TV, listen - together with her - to a piece of good music, like, for instance: Dancing in Hell.

Get a recipe for a genuine Witches’ Brew (you’ll find one in Shakespeare s cursed play Macbeth) and let that cauldron bubble!

Read some really romantic love poetry for her, as you can find here.

And Be Assured:

If you keep this little things in mind,

your own witch truly will be bewitched…

By you!

All photographs used with permission by embee.be

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12 Comments

  1. Posted November 27, 2008 at 5:15 am

    What a weird, yet interesting little story lol.

  2. Posted November 27, 2008 at 5:53 am

    That was very amusing and entertaining. Thank you for the story, Patrick. God bless.

  3. Posted November 27, 2008 at 6:38 am

    “By the pricking of my thumbs
    Something wicked this way comes
    -Ahhhhh! its Patrick.”
    Very witty and completely barking my friend.

  4. Posted November 27, 2008 at 6:41 am

    Ah C! (C Rider!) - Your comment set me LOL-ling!

  5. Posted November 27, 2008 at 9:58 am

    a very weird but interesting…thumbs up!

  6. Posted November 27, 2008 at 9:58 am

    Completely off this world and yet exact on target. Again an amazing piece!

    Goed uitgevoerd; dank u wel, Patrick.

  7. Posted November 27, 2008 at 10:45 am

    Voor Lucas: Ah! Ook nog eens een commentaar te mogen lezen in mijn moedertaal!

  8. Posted November 27, 2008 at 11:37 am

    That was different! a little crazy but made me smile :0

  9. Posted November 28, 2008 at 2:08 am

    Lol! you made my smile..

  10. Joanna Maharis
    Posted November 28, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    I love this article. It’s very entertaining and funny.

  11. Posted December 1, 2008 at 5:05 am

    Weird, but entertaining :)

  12. Posted January 7, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    Short little thing, isn’t she?

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