Isn’t it a lot of fun to have Chinese food on a cold, winter day? And what better way to end the meal than to read your fortune from a fortune cookie. Here are twelve Chinese fortune cookies on a winter day.

1. Do not go to bed with a man who is known as the “Creeper”.
2. Love is like bubblegum. Sometimes it blows up in your face.
3. Never hitch a ride on a school bus.
4. Never give your mistress the key to your house.
5. It is better to gain in wisdom than to gain in weight.
6. Be prepared to stand in a long, snake-like line. Hope the ride is worth the wait.
7. You are about to be visited by a woman with chapped lips, large hips, and who can do back flips.
8. It is time to get past the winter blast.
9. If you are lost while watching Lost, you are not alone.
10. You are about to be visited by the Queen of Spam. Good luck with your virus.
11. In order to be young, you must feel young. It doesn’t take much effort to feel old.
12. It is hard to maintain your dignity when you have breadsticks sticking from your nose.