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Five Things I Won’t Do ‘Cause I’m Scared: Five Things I Do for Redemption
This a tongue-in-cheek look at fear.
Image via Wikipedia
There are many people who love being scared out of their wits because they like the adrenalin rush. They will do most anything to be terrified. Their attitude is the scarier the feat is the better.
I don’t feel that way. I don’t like to be scared. I don’t like to be “at risk.” I felt I was lucky to survive the Vietnam War. Further I am a bit of a coward.
To that end I offer you five things I will not do. However to show you I am not a total coward I will tell you five things I will do.
I will not parachute dive. Why is this? Simply the parachute may not open. The parachute may be faulty or it may have been packed incorrectly. Human error causes a lot of deaths.
I will not climb mountains. They are high and they are slippery. If you are lucky enough to make it to the top you may get attacked by the Abominable Snowman, hit by a plane or run into real bad weather so that the wind blows you off the mountain.
I will not swim the English Channel. There are jellyfish and they sting really, really bad.
I would not bungee jump. I would be afraid of hitting something hard on the rebound.
I would not disobey my wife.
As I said however there are certainly risks that I am willing to take to keep my dignity.
I am willing to play a rousing game of checkers. I know it is possible to get jumped and knocked off the board but I will face that fearlessly.
I will eat two doughnuts despite the dangerous calories. I take my life in my hands but it is a risk I am willing to take.
I will put the toilet paper on the roller even though I risk my wife passing out and falling on an object that would spin up and hit me.
I would order a pizza. I know I would run the risk of a bad person coming to the door but I am willing to try.
I am willing to try and break my record for the longest afternoon nap. You may miss out on a variety of important things but I am willing to risk it.
Yes there are things I am afraid to do and refuse to do but there are many things that I will do that I think redeem me.
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15 Comments
While I am glad you are willing to risk personal injury to put the tissue on the roll, perhaps, you could put some soft pillows down to break your wife’s fall so that you both may be saved the repercussions of this very risky endeavor!
Loved the article!
Gary, I really liked this article. It was cute, funny and very well written. Your title was an attention grabber, at least for me, and all the way through the article, you kept my attention. Some of the things that you would never do, I quite agree with, because neither would I. Well done.
Although the people who sent you in to Vietnam were not the best life has to offer. Thank you for your service to our Constitution and Bill of Rights; You are a braver man than I am.
cool article. I wouldn’t bungee jump either. the first image looks very scary and no parachute sailing either.
Very amusing article
I’m with you on this one!! Why risk your life just for a thrill? Seems crazy to me!! As Leonardo states, you are a braver man than me too after going to war. I salute you.
This is Hot Content… For real?
Who the hell runs the Triond Hot Content features? I would like to slap that person…
Your article made me smile. Very funny, especially the abominable snowman part.
)
Actually, trying to break my record for a afternoon nap is a risk when dealing with my wife.
Shesho–this article was totally cute and awesome. Now I’m gonna look at your stuff and see if you have good reason to be so jealous.
i have a limit to the fears i will challange. but i enjoyed this it made me smile. keep up the good work!!!
Shesho…You’re 17…I’m much older. Reread this in a few years and you may understand the humor a little more.
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How about the fear of not paying taxes lol !!!
This is funny! I’m no thrill seeker, either. I am, however, willing to run the risk cleaning my teenaged daughter’s room a few times a year.
Ur artical is very funny but intresting