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Five Ways to Get Your Kids Out of Bed
Published by Karen Gross in Life
February 18, 2008
It’s a school morning. The carpool will be here in twenty minutes. You’ve already called each kid seven times. They are still in bed. What do you do?
Okay – it’s payback time. All of those years, every school morning, my Mom had to get me out of bed. Now I’m the Mom, and it’s my job to get my kids out of bed. I can’t stand the thought of losing another carpool. What do I do?
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Be the Nice Mom
Despite the fact that this tactic has never worked, I always start the morning by going to each girl’s room, giving them a back scratch, rubbing their feet, and telling them in a kind and gentle voice that it is time to wake up now. I’ve heard it said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, hoping to get the desired outcome this time. I resemble that remark.
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Try Calling Them Again
And again, and again, and again. This stage usually takes me fifteen or twenty minutes. Either I have way too much patience, or it’s that insanity thing again.
Sing to them.
Really loud. Really off key. Make up the words as you go. This technique is especially effective on teens.
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Get Out The Spray Bottle
This one also works, sometimes. You may have to put their sheets in the dryer if this technique needs to be repeated a few times.
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Get A Bucket of Ice
This technique is more effective than the spray bottle method, but, again, the sheets get wet
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Frozen Marbles
This is the most effective weapon in my arsenal, but it takes a bit of forethought and preparation. Put the marbles in the freezer overnight, and then dump them under your child’s blanket in the morning. The advantage of this technique is that the sheets stay dry. A sleepy child can only escape cold, rolling marbles by getting out of bed. One drawback is that if you have to resort to this method more than once or twice a week, you could be in danger of losing all of your marbles.
So my friends, always remember and never forget: your child will someday also have children, and the cycle of insanity can begin anew!
Love,
Mommy Bear
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15 Comments
I sang to mine; Loudly, obnoxiously, and in the upper ranges, with unrelenting cheerfulness. It asuaged my personal feelings that I would have much more cheerfully curled back up under the covers with them and gone back to sleep than go off to do whatever we had to do–and it kept me from several assorted types of inappropriate mayhem.
LoL – they do make you lose your marbles. This was a great fun read.
Frozen Marbles huh? I like it!
oooo I hadn’t thought of that one…. hehehehe
LOL, great advice.
My Mom would have me wake up my brother Tom in the morning, because I could outrun him. Back pack on, coat on, glass of cold water, get the door open first, throw the water and run like hell. And hope he forgets about it before school is out.
I am so glad this article was held back until well after I left the home. had my mother been privy to these tactics I am certain I would have been subject to all of them.
Good work Karen!
That was cute. My mom hasn’t waked me up in the longest time. I am up at 4:30 every morning to go to swim practice so I should be doing these tricks on her
Great article
Haha…that was very funny.
Good tricks Karen. Frozen marbles with boys– may be a bit too cruel.
My dad, bless him, tipped me onto the floor, no arguing, it was hard and cold as marble. I soon pre-empted wake up time.
I am very lucky, my teen gets up on her own about half hour before me!
We called our kid on her phone to wake her up; she didn’t want to take a chance on missing a call from a friend.
An amusing read, Karen.
i will definately have to remember this when mine is old enough to start getting her out of bed for school
That was so funny. I’m definitely going to remember the marble one, that’s a brilliant tactic.