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How to Read English Instantly in 13 Simple Steps
Have you ever read a sign and thought that it was too bizarre to mean what it actually said?
- Know that in English, colours have emotions.
What are the white ones called?
- In English, body parts are dispensable
- Toilet training English kids can be very complicated.
- Remember that English speakers have dangerous sports and will compete at anything.
- English people develop attachments to bizarre activities.
- English speakers don’t necessarily like themselves (between you and me, this type of self denouncement is mild, you should know that some of them spank themselves with whips)
- English people also practise child cruelty (so it’s not only the adults who enjoy the whippings).
- English speakers are known to stow away animals and alcoholics as cargo.
- Their eating is strange too. They mix turtle with cabbage and mayonnaise, how odd.
- English speakers are obsessed with parts of their bodies.
- And there’s a law for every little thing.
- Cannibalism of some of their social groups is highly encouraged. (Yes, and I’ve heard that fried nerd goes nicely with soy sauce. )
- And here is one I can only show you, because if I said, “The toilet on the other side is for Lady boys.” I’d get beaten up.
Or tomato sauce, soy sauce, chilli sauce or cat sauce. Any such soiling of the above sauces will be dealt with severely by management.
And lastly, they make food sauces out of animals, who ever heard of such a thing.
Or tomato sauce, soy sauce, chilli sauce or cat sauce. Any such soiling of the above sauces will be dealt with severely by management.
Image Sources: Engrish
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17 Comments
Simply lmao!
I like # 4, 5 and 7 best. This is just great!
You would think people with an understanding of English would be hired to over see signs in English. Now I wonder about our signs in a foreign language.
My wife suggested offering just such a service to people in Asian countries, because so much of what is written as English isn’t anything like it!
here’s an example I found in our hotel bathroom in Seoul, Korea.
http://mikecrowlsscribblepad.blogspot.com/2007/12/english-as-she-is-writ.html
Is #10 a place to get cigarettes that are from Seattle?
This was great!
This is very interesting.
Humorous. Thanks for sharing. I would be afraid of what my signs would say if I had to do sign making in any language but English. They need someone to edit for them.
Great post! But it seems like some of the pictures appeared twice.
Funny! It seems it was so good that Triond have published it twice! I 5thought I was seeing things.
V. funny.
that’s hilarious!!
Thanks for your comments everyone. It’s nice to know that the article has made you smile.
real funny,
congrats for making it to the hot contents list, again, i guess, i’m relatively new in the family.thanks
lmao i see those weird stuffs when i go to china and im like wtf?
im chinese BTW but i live in canada
This is hilarious. I heard there was a company that made t-shirts, and one had the saying “crap your hands and be happy.” It was a China based company that was promoting American sayings.
Thanks nobert, CD and K. I have learned that translating (my husband is bilingual and worked for years to translate the court hearings of war crime defendants) has a lot to do with understanding the culture and idioms of the language you’re translating.
I think that a lot of these signs have been transliterated rather than translated, that’s why we have this problem. Someone sat down, found a dictionary, and swapped individual Cantonese words for English ones, without knowing how to actually speak English. I am putting together a second article like this one, since I had too much material for one article of a decent size.
All said and done, I couldn’t translate into Cantonese to save my life.
yeah, world can be intersting, but at least they make an effort to use a foreign language in their country, most countries don’t bother much