I’m not good at keeping pets. My goldfish died. The canary flew away. My Alsatian bit people and I once had tortoises that went mouldy. An elderly neighbor once told me that men are like dogs and that they are always running after and sniffing around women.

I suppose I don’t have a very good track record. Most of my romantic relationships have ended. Maybe I am too boring too undisciplined, too untamed not domesticated. To be honest I just wish everything could be free and I don’t know how to keep pets, don’t know how to train them don’t know how to feed them, don’t know how to discipline them, don’t know how to domesticate them and don’t enjoy their dependency

Lots of people love dogs. They play with them, walk them, hold conversations with them and I even have a friend who loves hungry ones. She feeds them all the time. Takes them out for dinner, dresses seductively and plays femme fatale.

I had a friend who observing the trouble I was having with my dog commented on the craziness of anyone owning a male one. She wondered why you would bother as they are such a nuisance, unless neuted of course. Maybe I’m too sensitive but I think it would be a horrible thing to do to anyone even a dog. I suppose I’ll just have to face it I’m just no good at keeping pets and right now I have no plans to ever own a dog again.