Halloween has always been the Number One holiday of the year for my husband and me because it’s the only time a grownup can dress and act weird without being scrutinized for possible mental illness.

When I turned 14, however, I thought at first that Halloween would never again be the Special Night that it was because my parents informed me that I was too old now to go “Trick or Treating with the little kids.”

  Just a word to the wise here; don’t use the argument, “…but I’ll be with my friends and all we’ll do is walk the streets.”  Trust me, this won’t fly!

 ”No daughter of mine is going to be ‘just walking the streets’ at ten o’clock at night!”, my father snorted.  I tried to put some sanity and reason into the situation by pointing out that my brother  was going out…in costume…with HIS friends so why couldn’t I do the same?

  Dumb…dumb…dumb…never try to win an arguement concerning age by using an eleven-year-old as an example.  What was I thinking?!

  To say the least, this war was over before it had begun.  Now what?  My friends were all dressing up…walking around town…carrying pillowcases and bags, of course.  Nobody’s going to say, “Hey Mildred…there’s some kids over there who are too big to go “Trick or Treating.  Toss them some Milk Duds.”

  Halloween as I knew it was now over…gone…with only the chore of handing out candy being the highlight of the evening.  I might as well go up to my room and read a book…or go sit in the barn. 

 Wait a minute.  The barn!  Halloween was still two weeks away, and the barn had lots of stuff in it that could maybe give me some ideas as to how to still have fun on that most Scary of scary nights. 

And what a plan I came up with, too!  Up in the barn I had found old clothes, plenty of straw, rope, and a rubber skeleton mask that went over the entire head.   I was going to create a monster…preferably one that swung on the end of a rope!

  Our house sat on top of a small hill with a large h-shaped driveway cutting through the land, and kids would be coming up one side, getting their candy like the little innocents they were, and traveling down the other side back to the street.  Except for one detail they wouldn’t know about until it was too late; ‘Herman’ and I would be waiting for them by the old apple tree!

I had worked out all the details, done several flight tests with ‘Herman’, and everything was in perfect working order.  The tree limb length, the rope, ‘Herman’s straw stuffing and mask, and the safety pins that I had found in an old trunk all pointed to Karma being on my side (for a change). 

Halloween finally arrived, and as dusk settled over the quiet neighborhood, I stealthily hung up ‘Herman’ to where he would swing out and over that part of the driveway when the time was right.  My face was blackened with soot, my clothing was dark,  and I had a bottle of rootbeer to keep me company while leaning back against the base of the tree…waiting…waiting.  I even allowed a couple small groups of Trick or Treaters to travel by the tree without incident.  After all, something worth doing is worth doing LARGE!

 Finally I heard LOTS of voices coming up the other side of the lawn…children and adults alike all dressed up and heading for the front porch! 

 ”Please, please, please let them come by ‘Herman’ and me” I prayed to the Halloween God of Pranks.  My prayer must have been heard because I could now hear grownup voices directing the crowd to come…THIS…way! 

 I slowly stood up in the shadows, made sure that ‘Herman’’s rope was free of snags, and watched the little goblins walk, skip, jump, and run down the driveway.  I waited for what seemed like an eternity but the moment finally arrived…the kids and grownups were in The Zone!

  With a bloodcurdling shriek, I let ‘Herman’ fly, and no one could have asked for a more perfectly-timed flight! 

 The night erupted with screams, yells, bags flying up in the air, ghosts and monsters and even clowns scattering to the north, south, and west (I was east), as well as grownups tripping over themselves and others while trying to ’save the kids’! 

 It was fantastic!  There was candy EVERYWHERE!

  Why hadn’t I ever thought of doing this before now?  It sure beat going house to house for a Snickers bar here and a Mounds bar there.  In one swoop I had obtained a large bag of sugary bounty that was sure to last me…oh…let’s see…a week?

After over an hour more of waiting with no new prey to pounce on, I figured the gig was up and that the news of ‘Herman’ must have gone around the Trick or Treater Circle almost instantaneously.  The screams, alone, must have been heard for at least a mile away!.  I decided to settle for ‘quality’ and not ‘quantity.’

oh wait…I had candy!…LOTS of candy!  Let’s rethink the quantity-thing. 

 Throwing in the towel, I trudged up to the house.  Once inside, my mother looked at me and asked, “what are you doing up here?  Why aren’t you at the tree?” 

 After explaining my boredom with the rest of the night, she started laughing and informed me that while I had chosen this moment to come up to the house, my brother and his friends were  ambushing my lair with the mistaken idea that I was still down there. 

   What did I tell you…Karma was on my side!