When I was a teenager, I had a great voice. I must have had one, because my friend’s brother wanted me to join their group as a vocalist. Mother wouldn’t let me, so they had to achieve fame and fortune without my help, but that’s another story.

Fast forward twenty years, when friends invited us to join them at a karaoke night. This event coincided with my husband’s purchase of a video camera, so off we went. It was a busy evening, so by the time my turn came to sing, I’d had six pints of cider. I sang the Beatles number, ‘Obla-di, Obla-da,’ and I thought I did great. So did the crowd, who demanded an encore. Unfortunately, I fell off the stage at that point.

We don’t remember arriving home that night, so a good time must have been had by all. The following evening, we all settled down to watch ourselves singing. How to describe my performance? Excruciating fits the bill, but doesn’t even come close to describing the full impact of my performance. Imagine, if you will, a cat with a very high-pitched miaow being tortured to within an inch of its life. At the same time, somebody out in the street is employing a pneumatic drill to its full potential while the Red Arrows Aerobatic Display Team take a practice run or two directly overhead. Now you’re getting the picture. It’s not a pretty one, is it?

I vowed then and there that I would never be persuaded to inflict my voice on the public again, no matter how inebriated I (or they!) may be. However, don’t let my experience put you off participating in a fun evening of karaoke. Just take note of a couple of points I should have considered and go ahead and enjoy.

If you’ve put your name down to sing, keep the alcohol consumption down until you’ve had your turn. And make sure you choose a song that you know well enough to sing all the way through without the help of the little bouncing ball and subtitles. Use these as a reminder, not a prop. Finally, if you’re feeling nervous, choose a fast-paced number rather than a ballad, then the odd little wobble will go unnoticed. Also, the audience will join in and your stint will be really successful. Have fun!