Once again, I give you another clever batch of Chinese fortune cookie sayings. You may reflect on the wisdom or just laugh out loud.

1. Squeezing too much toothpaste will make you feel and look blue
2. Winning isn’t everything, but whining is too much
3. A wealth of experience is no substitute for an empty pocketbook
4. Beware of a pit bull named Fang. His bite is worst than his bark.
5. Watching too many reruns will dull your senses and your mind
6. Never read a book upside down while driving a car
7. A flower is like a failed romance; wilted
8. Never propose marriage on an empty stomach. Don’t look at your bride like a side of beef.
9. Keep your cool unless you’re stuck on an iceberg
10. Spam is like junk food; lots of bulk and terribly unhealthy
11. It is better to have flooded memories than a flooded basement
12. Never make your bed when there is someone sleeping in it
13. Gasoline prices are like weight lifters; all pumped up
14. A split in your pants doesn’t mean an end to the romance
15. Never play a musical instrument in the car. You just might hit a flat.
16. Peanut butter in your hair is not likely to attract many dates
17. Always keep track of your balls when playing tennis
18. Hockey moms never puck around
19. It is better to have the force with you than the farts with you
20. A bird in the hand can get really messy if you hold it for too long