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Predictive Text: A Surefire Way to Make Yourself Look Like a Jackass
Published by s hayes in Life
September 28, 2008
Five examples of embarrassing predictive text blunders.
I am compelled to write this article to warn people of the many potential ways that you can embarrass yourself in front of your work colleagues, family and friends by using the predictive text facility on your mobile phone.
Texting is a wonderful, modern, quick and easy way of communicating – however, the consequences of pressing the “send” button before checking exactly what your phone has interpreted to be your intended wording, can be catastrophically embarrassing.
I speak from painful experience….
1. Only last week, on my way to work, after being in a stationary queue for 25 minutes on the car-park which is the M6, worried that my colleagues at work would be beginning to slag me off for my unauthorised absence, I sent a quick text to my boss.
It was only later, when I arrived at the front door of my office, I noticed what message my boss would have received from me
“Will be a bit late, Stuck in massive Steve” !!??!!
My phone had taken q u e u e and kindly transformed it into s t e v e (same buttons).
It took some time to explain that I was late due to traffic and not because of my participation of a weird sex game with a bloke called Steve.
2. Oddly enough, the boss that I sent message 1 to, was the same boss that, one year earlier, I requested a couple of days off to visit my brother on the island of Jersey – at the end of my trip, the island was engulfed in thick fog, and my flight was unexpectedly cancelled.
In the ensuing confusion, aware that I would not be at work as arranged the following Monday morning, I texted my boss.
“Won’t be in tomorrow, stuck in dog”
Is it any wonder I often catch my boss eying me suspiciously.
3. I was visiting a new restaurant, an elderly aunt had booked a table there the following night – so she asked me to report on the quality of the food etc.
After the meal I texted her details of the wonderful food and ended the text telling her that I had
“tossed it off with a bottle of red wine”
T o p p e d is what I typed – honestly.
4. My mum had spent weeks arranging a large family party, being fussy, and knowing that I am often late, she sent me a text asking me if I was ready and had I set off yet.
I sent her one back…..
“I have got aids”
I had to explain to my frantic mother that I had typed the word “a g e s”
5. My other half was amused a few weeks ago when I sent him a text
“will you sick up something for lunch”
He sent one back saying that he would, and it would still be preferable to my cooking!
Luckily, mobile phone technology has advanced, and many new models have a full keyboard on them – making predictive text obsolete, I really think that I ought to invest in one.
Even so, typing can be equally dangerous – A few years ago, I posted out a detailed document to a prestigious client, I recoiled in horror to see that I had missed the letter “O” out of the title – which was – “Statement of Account”. !!!
Maybe my typo was accurate!
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20 Comments
Caught in a huge Steve! Hilarious!
That was hilarious! I’m so glad I don’t have that problem (I’m a Qwerty phone person)
Wonderful! I’m Still Laughing. Nice one S.
I sent my wife a text from a pavement cafe in Paris – I meant to say I was “sipping wine”. Predictive text ensured that I sent:
“Hi. Very relaxed. Just sat here ripping wind.”
How did they know?
Ok…the invisible ink from the last comment should read: “very funny, and enjoyable”
Loved it. You’re boss must think you’re a lunatic!
My youngest daughter tried to teach me to ‘text’ but now I’m really glad that I flunked the course! Typing, however, is something I can relate to, and your ‘…Statement of Account’ just put the cherry on top of the sundae! Great job!
And I wonder why I don’t text! Ha Ha! Very funny..but very informative. Good stuff.
brilliant! my mate once sent one to her mum that should have said “Wont be home tonight” but she sent:
“Wont be good tonight”
Even better her mum replied with “Thats nice”!!
Very amusing piece. Thanks
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. That is all.
Ha ha, My mum wrote this without even thinking about the embarassment it would cause me, I mean “I have got aids” What is all that about?? x]
youre absolutely retarded. who doesnt look at what theyve typed before they send it. do us all a favor and just keep your pointless opinions to yourself. this article was NOT FUNNY
ya sorry. qwerty phone maybe i just dont understand..
Wonderfully funny article! I needed the laugh. As to the commentors above, everyone makes mistakes sometimes, don’t be rude! I think ti was very funny and I can see how it could happen when you are frustrated or in the middle of something else when you send a text! Great job and I look forward to more from you!
>I really think that I ought to invest in one (full qwerty).
Maybe not, if you can accept the idea of Oizea Type.
but some funny things may still happen in your style
Very good writing.
ha ha ha brilliant.
my mom asked my dad to pick up some coal for our fire,
she accidently sent, c o c k instead of c o a l..
‘can you pick up some cock sweetie’
amused me and my sister greatly haha
This one was bad.
When I was in University I drank in a pub called the Mutley Crown. One day I decided to text my flatmate to ask he he wanted to join us for food.
This is what I thought I typed:
“Do you want to get food in the crown?”
This is what predictive text typed:
“Do you want to get done in the brown?”
Didn’t live that one down for quite some time!