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Rant: 10 People at the Grocery Store Who Make Me Hate
Published by jharmon in Life
April 29, 2010
You’ve seen them. Now here’s a list of the worst of them.
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The soccer mom on her cell phone
You’re busy. You have to take little Jessie to his game this afternoon. Then you have a hair appointment. And you can’t meet up with your BFF Katie tonight because the hubbie is coming home early from work to take you and the kids out to Pizza Hut. How do I know all this? Because you’ve done nothing but walk around the store for the last half hour with that darn cell phone glued to your ear, and you’ve made sure everybody and their brother has heard every word of your conversation. If you’re so busy, hang up the phone and get done with your shopping. And get a clue.
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Anyone blocking up the aisles
Maybe it’s the “cute” couple that has decided each of them needs their own separate cart because it’s adorable. Or maybe it’s the family that has decided to bring all 20 of their kids to the store with them. And the kids are lined up across every, single aisle. And they have Popsicle stains on their shirts and slobber running down their noises. Whatever or whoever you are, you’re taking up too much space. To live. Okay, maybe that’s harsh. But it doesn’t feel like it right now when you’ve decided you own Aisle 7 and no one else can get to the toilet paper because you’ve decided to camp there.
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Anyone who spends more than 5 seconds staring at a particular item
This is related to the one before. Know what you want before you get to the store. Pick it up off the shelf. Drop it in your cart. Then move onto the next item. You don’t need to spend all day trying to make up your mind whether you want the light red kidney beans or the dark red kidney beans. They’re friggin’ kidney beans. Pick one. Move on. Other people need kidney beans, too. Hmm. Wonder which ones to pick?
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The two old ladies catching up on their gossip
I don’t need to know about your grand kids. And I definitely don’t need you two to tell each other every little personal story about your families going back to the Truman administration. Why? Because while catching up, you two have parked your carts in the middle of the aisle so no one else can get around you. Move it to the sides of the store. Maybe the deli area. At least you’d be out of the rest of everyone else’s way.
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9 Comments
This really cracked me up, because you are so right. I feel the same way. You forgot the person who holds up the line by having 100 store coupons and having to check every one of them to be sure they are getting their discount, then pulling out a check book and taking forever to write the check. I do not have the patience to tolerate these inconsiderate people either. Thanks for making me laugh about it.
Hahaha nice.I really enjoyed this article.
Thanks for sharing,
-Resounding Glass
great style of writing – real “laugh out loud” moments were had with: “And I definitely don’t need you two to tell each other every little personal story about your families going back to the Truman administration.” and “This isn’t the Indy Shopaholic 500.”
really funny – revivor
Absolutely crass, harsh, and cynical. I love it!
Dude! Shannon, you on Triond? Drop me a line. Let me know.
Your atrciles intrigue me!! I want to see more!
Agreed – what about the people who park their cart on one side of the isle, and then block the passage on the other side as if they are the only people in the whole store?
These are the moments when it is soooooo difficult to keep my mouth shut.
lmfao
I think we have a similar sense of humor.
My all time favorite:
The idiot that always has to wear an entire bottle of perfume because I guess they forgot what it is to shower daily.
Loved it! …My kind of piece.