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Reasons Why Christmas Should be Celebrated in August
20+ strange reasons why the commercial side of Christmas should be celebrated in August and not in December.
Yes, I know that a large part of the world’s population celebrate Christmas as Jesus’ birth, and yes I do respect this with all my heart. So when I talk about Christmas in this article, I’m merely referring to the commercial side of the holiday. And No, don’t leave me nasty comments because this is an article created for comedic effect, in the similar way that a stand-up comedian would make jokes about his wife and children, clearly expecting his audience to know that he means none of it.
Well, now that’s taken care of, shall we begin?
So, here are my reasons why the commercial side of Christmas should be celebrated in August. What do you think?
- Poor Rudolph’s eczema (red nose) would not be so bad if he has to fly around up there when the air is warmer and less crisp.
- Santa can finally wear more comfortable clothing. A little string white vest with red trousers and some flip flops, would do nicely.
- Our electricity bills would be lower, as Christmas lights wouldn’t need to be turned on until later in the evening (because it gets dark 4 hours later in August than it does in December).
- In the South West of England (and in Ireland) the rain is warmer in August than it is in December which means we can actually attend our staff parties in relative comfort (even if we’re wearing our strapless dresses).
- Carol singers could go for longer in the warm August night air, and we can pay them less (because we feel less sorry for them freezing their legs off in the cold).
- Christmas songs could be more upbeat. An improvement which would attract singers like Robbie Williams, Rhianna, and Green Day to start writing them.
- There would be no expectation of, therefore no disappointment when it doesn’t snow.
- Santa could enter through the windows we leave open in the summer rather than having to stuff his rather large self down the sooty chimney.
- We can finally get rid of the awful warm mulled wine people insist on serving (because it’s so cold) and drink some proper cold beer instead.
- This one is kinda hard, but I’m just going to go ahead and say it anyway. The fussy Aussies would have to stop boasting about their hot Christmases, as they would have to have them when it’s cold. Ha! (I love them, really I do.)
- Parents and other relatives would be on holiday in August which gives you a great excuse for not inviting them over for Christmas. (Scratch this one, as I may be joking here!)
- Kids won’t have to rush back to school right after the Christmas holidays, because they’ll have a good few weeks left before school starts again.
- Santa can finally get a tan
- It would break up the Christmas and New Year’s Day celebrations (this can’t be moved for obvious reasons) and spread them out evenly throughout the year instead of them coming so close together. It would give us all time to recoup some of what we’ve so crazily spent.
- Instead of cutting down trees, we could go out and plant some.
- We could swap the awful turkey meals for barbecue parties instead.
- Instead of shopping to “keep warm”, we could go outside and do some real sports instead.
- Our Christmas cards would be less white and more colourful with yellows of sunshine, blues of the clear sky, and a multitude of colours for the birds and flowers in season.
- Santa could travel around on a jet ski or a surf board, giving the reindeer a rest. (This would be good news for animal rights activists).
- Instead of warm milk and biscuits, kids could leave Santa some iced tea with crisps instead.
Now, I’ve said my bit, I’m off to the shed to get my artificial (save the planet) Christmas tree to set it up for the holidays. Who’s with me?
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19 Comments
Some very good points, Anne…I wouldn’t mind celebrate Christmas in August either…lol..
Can we have both? That would be perfect!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT IS H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S my friend and I were in histerics lol. Keep it up girl.
Christmas is August sounds about perfect to me.
Some really nice and funny reasons listed up there. A great article:)
Anne, You have my vote. I don’t know what the school kids would say about having Xmas on their summer vacation. You probably won’t get their OK.
There have been some disagreements about the actual date, but I believe sincerely that the date is no where near as significant as the birth, and I’m with on saving a tree. I have always used an artificial one to help keep our planet greener. We could celebrate Christmas any time of year. I’d love it. Great humour.
Take care.
It’d be so great to have fun holidays year round!
very funny,but if Christmas will be celebrated in august-it will be super dry here in our country because it’s the leanest month here, but i would say-it will be more solemn i guess,thanks for the laugh….
that is funny and i would say very creative. thanks for the great laughs.
Thanks for the good laugh. There’s really historical evidence that Jesus was indeed born in August.
This was great thanks for sharing
Kathy
It is nice and Kool….
i agree and i disagree. Santa does deserve a tan though
LOL! THIS IS GENIUS!
I am all for this one! I get 2 Easters one for the UK expat community celebrations about March and the other is later (April) as it is the Greek Orthodox one, follow that with your August Christmas and the one we have to have in December, then New year and then I will celebrate with my russian friends on Jan 6th their Christmas, I will be partying all year, HO HO HO Anne I’m in!!!
Too funny…and thought provoking!!
How about in the spring? Poor Santa would broil here in Florida. He deserves a tan, not sun stroke.
Very interesting indeed.