To fully appreciate the humor in this, you have to know: my son is Caucasian and his friend Tootie is African-American. They’ve been friends since they were babies, about five years now and are as close as brothers. They act like it too, playing together one minute, roughhousing and fighting the next.

All their lives, Tootie has had the upper hand. My son has only during the last year or so started to even talk back to his friend. Now he’s getting brave enough to hit back and seems to enjoy scaring Tootie from time to time. Unfortunately, this new-found willingness to defend himself has spilled over into kindergarten, where my son has developed a fondness for hitting kids and talking back to the teacher.

I decided over the weekend to give my son an incentive to be good. The teacher awards marbles for certain good behaviors each day. The maximum number of marbles you can earn is five, which will get you a toy. Four will get you a sticker. I told my son if he gets five marbles every day this week, I’d buy him a toy. We discussed several possibilities, including Halloween makeup. I said, “I’ll make you look so yucky Tootie will be scared white.” My son asked, “He will turn white?” I said yes. Then my son asked, “If Tootie scares me, will I turn brown?” I’m afraid I was laughing too hard to answer him.