WARNING: This article probably will hurt your feelings if any of the below are true for you.

1. Virtually everything you say is a quote from somewhere else.

Example: All your jokes and puns are regurgitated Family Guy lines, which you usually get wrong anyway.  Don’t worry, people normally give you a courtesy laugh for effort, but this is a major sign your humor is more dried up than a bottle of Jack’s used to comfort your empty life.

2. You laugh at your own jokes hysterically, during and after the joke is complete.

Example: A female spills juice on her jeans and states she is all wet, your first reaction is to say, “I make that happen to all women.”  Then you proceed to laugh so hard your eyes close and you can’t see the fact that everyone in the room hates you.  Open your eyes, the only thing funny in the room is what people are calling you in their thoughts.

3. You use swearing as a tool to emphasize everything, even if no emphasis is needed.

Example: If someone censored you during one of your attempts to be funny, you would sound like a mix of the Jerry Springer show crossed with a censored version your Dad’s reaction to the news that your Mother was pregnant with you.  

4. You always take things too far.

Example: You come very close to actually saying something funny, then cancel and destroy every trace of funny by saying something so ridiculous and incoherent that the mood in the room goes from comfortable to awkward faster then your Mom regretted not taking the morning after pill.

5. You are incomprehensibly random.

Example: The odds you were the fastest swimmer is a random act of nature.  The odds that your anti-humorous brain will be able to stew up a joke that is related to the topic at hand with a touch of randomness would be a random act of – wait, it would never happen.

6. You never let-up.

Example: You attempt to make a group of people laugh with no success.  You try to make up for it by getting louder and less funny, usually alcohol fuels this irritating fire.  The best thing to do at this point is consume all the alcohol in the room and spend the night in the hospital.  At least the hospital staff will think you’re funny when you wake up and realize a comedic genius drew a phallic symbol pointing at your mouth with permanent marker.

7. You interrupt other funny people to add your special not-funny touch.

Example: When someone else is on a roll and is succeeding in making other people laugh, you feel the need to ruin the mood and everyone’s appetite by exhaling air from your humor-incapable lungs.  Stop breathing the funny man’s air and just listen!

Please, if you know anyone less humorous than a cat not capable of human language, help them by adding to this list.