Does anyone ever call you by the wrong name? Do they do it on a regular basis? Do several people do it?

This trend in my life (there’s no other way to put it) is sometimes annoying, but it’s kind of funny, too. For some reason, I woke up with the urge to write about it.

I have an uncle named Steve. He and I are similar, as far as looks and voice. We both have a deep voice, though mine’s soft, and we both speak with a slow drawl that’s rather common in the American South. We’re both tall, broad at the shoulders, we have an athletic build, and we both have especially long fingers. We also have a love for pro wrestling in common (Grandpa basically raised us on it). We have the same color hair, and we share deep brown, almost black, Cherokee eyes.

For some reason, people seem to get me confused with him. My grandmother (rest her soul) would begin to call me Steve before she caught herself. My own mother does it. “Ste- . . .  er, Jason, where’s that wrestling tape you brought over?” Or some such.

My other uncle, on the other side of my family, lives in New York. I don’t talk to him much, but when I do, he calls me Steve. One night, he called, and I answered. “Is this Steve?” “It’s Jason.” “Oh, I’m sorry. I keep thinking it’s Steve.”

A little boy that my mom baby-sits calls me Steve.

I even had a band mate once – who was named Steve – that called me Steve once or twice before he got to know me.

They never call Steve “Jason,” though.

And I’ve even had several people tell me that I look just like Stephen King.

Dear lord. Another Steve! Run!

I love Stephen King, he’s my mentor (even though he has no idea that I exist), but I don’t think I quite want to go there.

Lord only knows how my future wife will bungle my name. But as long as she doesn’t call me “Poopy,” I’ll be fine, I guess.

Should I change my name or what? Do I have a sign on my forehead that says, “STEVE, STEVE, READ ALL ABOUT STEVE!”?

Maybe I should change my name to Fido. Surely, no one would mess that one up.

“Steve . . . I mean, Jason, son . . .” “Mom, please.”

Arrgh!

Brought to you by: The Utterly Ridiculous Moments of my Life.