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Some Funny Quotes

Published by vim3 in Life
March 13, 2009

A small collection of funny quotes that come without any pretensions, political correctness or any sense of logic. But what redeems them is the great service they do by making you laugh.

There is nothing like a good laugh when you are feeling blue. Some things said in the spur of the moment could turn out to be so hilarious that these funny quotes could keep generation laughing! I was looking at these funny quotes over the Internet and thought I would share it. You might have heard some of them, but I included the common ones because they still seem funny to me. If even one of these quotations brings a smile to your lips, I will feel that my article has succeeded.

Image source

First and foremost, a look at out source or bread and butter. Who doesn’t love his work….Well someone could ask who really loves it:)

“If you love your job, you haven’t worked a day in your life.”
 Tommy Lasorda

Image via Wikipedia

We work so hard to feed the stomach, how about some quotes about the food itself?

“Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can’t believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I’m still hungry.”
Mike Kalin“I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”
Steven Wright

With a full stomach you can look at the emotion we call “love”. Love makes the world go round they say…well, does it?

“Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
Ambrose Bierce

There are some marriage quotes that crack me up every time I read them.

So, you think the woman’s role is to keep the house, eh? Take a look at this-

“I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”
 Zsa Zsa Gabor

All marriages become monotonous after some time, here is the GREAT REALITY:

“In married life three is company and two none.”
Oscar Wilde

Not every one is happy with the wife he finds….

“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.”
Socrates
No wonder then that this is what Oscar Wilde thought-
“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”
Oscar Wilde

And not all women are bowled over by their men either;)

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”
Maryon PearsonAnother women who learnt her lesson-
“When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
Rita Rudner

So, you think you are clever, look at what Einstein had to say-

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
Albert Einstein

Image source

If you doubt Einstein? Read some stuff our “clever” human race had to say-

“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
Douglas Adams

and this-

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.”
Douglas Adams

With all the above statements is it any wonder that W.C.Fields said-

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”
 W.C. Fields

AND finally I do not leave myself out, I am doing exactly what Somerset Maugham said :

“The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.”
Somerset Maugham

I hope you enjoyed this small collection of funny quotes.

Have great day!

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5 Comments

  1. Posted March 13, 2009 at 10:24 am

    Those are funny quotes. The one my husband likes to cite a lot is “I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.” by W.C. Fields. The one I can relate to is, “Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.” Ambrose Bierce.

  2. Posted March 13, 2009 at 10:33 am

    I really enjoyed reading the quotes especially the Zsa Zsa Gabor one. A very good write.

    Christine

  3. Posted March 13, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    Haha! I love random funny things! It makes my work day that much better!

  4. Steve West
    Posted March 14, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    I thoroughly enjoyed the quotes and the pictures.

  5. rajeev bhargava
    Posted March 18, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    these were simply hilarious. i really enjoyed reading through them all.

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