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Spelling the Sound Fart

Published by Bwoomp in Life
February 16th, 2008

I know you can smell a fart but can you spell a fart? Not the word itself, but the sound? Curious? Learn the official spelling of the sound fart in detail.

I’ve pondered this for quite some time and have finally decided to tackle this dilemma. IMHO, people should educated in the proper spelling of fart-like sounds. Of course you say potato and I say pa-tah-toe so chances are your spelling of the sound fart will be much different from my spelling.

Seeing as how we have different perspectives on what makes a fart a fart and what counts as a whole fart or a half-fart. Sigh. To each his own.

Now correct me if you must but I believe that you spell the sound fart like this: bwoo###mp (pronounced like “bwwwpopoomp”).

If you’re still confused by the odd spelling, allow me to explain.

Analysis

Spelling the sound fart

Subject

Bwoo###mp (offical spelling)

BW

Self explanatory. There is a definite “Bw”- at the beggining.

OO

of course depending on the type of fart imposed on you and the O’s would represent the length of said fart. In this case it is a fairly short fart, hence only 2 O’s.

MP

This seems really the only logical way to end a deliberate, retaliatory & rather impudent fart. In some cases it will end with “phhh” which would represent the trail of air that usually ends a fart, however these farts are often released blissfully in “assumed” privacy and tend to bring great satisfactory relief after a grand buffet–dependent on what you consumed.

###

Much like a deliberate fart I completely skipped over the ### signs simply because they deserve a more detailed explanation.

It is completely mind boggling that, try as you may, you will find no letters that can describe the middle of the sound fart. It would be similar to describing a sputtering lawnmower. Seeing as how there are no letters in the English alphabet to sound out the sound dead-center in a deliberate fart, the only way it can be described would be ###. Numbers.

With very few options, the only thing I could use to spell that indescribable sound is numbers. It was either that or symbols. And symbols is more of a slippery fart sound.

If you’re still not getting it and are totally confused by my spelling of the sound fart, then let me help you. When you’re pronouncing the sound fart, aim for the sound not the word itself… and use your imagination. Go on get creative with it.

Seeing as how I am the first to tackle this topic, my spelling of the sound fart will supercede all spellings. So remember, if ever in a spelling bee or on a loopy game show and you are asked to spell the sound fart you shall know the correct spelling is:

B-W-O-O-numbers-M-P

Thank you and Enjoy. To educate others on the spelling of the sound fart, pass it on.

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8 Comments
  1. Izzy
    Posted February 24, 2008 at 8:52 pm

    Hmm, okay, dare ya to spell the sound of someone horking or snorting – ya know, that ugly sound made in the back of the throat.

    lol – Truthfully, am trying to figure out something that would at least somewhat resemble the sound – I type court transcripts!!

    Go for it!

  2. susan
    Posted November 2, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    i found this because i was trying to figure out how to spell the sound i make when i’m having an asthma attack. it doesn’t sound so much like #### but that helps me kind of figure out how i’m gonna spell mine.

    funny post.

  3. Linda
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    I found this because I’m trying to figure out how to spell the envious sound my friend made when he heard the growl of a really nice sports car. Something like Awwhhhh, but when I spell it like that it sounds sweet, and it wasn’t a sweet sound. Maybe Hawwwah. Who knows? But at least I learned how to spell a fart sound!

  4. Mike
    Posted February 12, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    I was just trying to text this sound in a picture message and I was wondering the exact same thing.. I think there is too much variation in types of farts to have only one word-representation. I’ve heard “boooop?”, the question mark means there’s a raise in pitch. Then there’s the “thbp”-type which doesn’t really have a pitch but it’s more of a lawn-mower thing. It’s probably also based on the language/culture; people speaking different languages probably have different interpretations. Yeah, I’ve thought this over…

  5. benis
    Posted May 10, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    i would spell a fart like this – “pfthhb”

  6. Renee
    Posted October 27, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    This is SOOO funny! I was just trying to text a fart sound as well…the number sign thing throws me off though. I want an actual word…thrdddpppp? Quack? hahaha maybe quack is a good one actually.

    Duck in Pants

  7. adam
    Posted May 10, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    phhhhh

  8. Beshario
    Posted October 19, 2010 at 1:07 am

    I have a sound of fart that I had to use it as a an ending of the term brain fart
    like this
    Brain Fart PppffffeRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrt

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