Ten Signs That You Are Going to Choke on the Big Spelling Bee

You’re in the final round of the spelling bee. You’ve done real well, but now the pressure is really on. You’re up next when all of a sudden you begin to sweat. Here are ten signs that you are going to choke on the big spelling bee.

1. You perspire profusely. You don’t know how to spell perspire or profusely.
2. Your mind drifts off to a fantasy island where all the creatures of the island misspell words
3. Your face looks as blank as the blackboard in your classroom
4. You start to pick at your acne. You then start rubbing your hair. Big clumps of hair start to fall out onto the auditorium stage.
5. You start practicing your acceptance speech. All you can think about is how to spell the word acceptance.
6. You stomp your feet on the ground. When you get off your chair, you hear a rip from the seat of your pants.
7. You look at the audience and see your mom’s desperate eyes. You also see your dad yelling in the crowd, “You can do it son. No sweat.” You feel like hiding under a rock.
8. You look at your girlfriend in the audience. You wave to her and then trip over your feet. You hope the spelling word will be clumsy.
9. You notice that the two other contestants are wearing glasses. You’re not. Oh my God, I left my glasses at home. What am I going to do? Wait a minute; you realize that you don’t wear glasses. Darn it. Those other contestants look like Braniacs. Your head is dripping with enough sweat to fill a lake.
10. You stand before the judges, and you finally feel relaxed. You are convinced that you can win. The next thing that you hear is moaning and laughter coming from the audience. You look down and notice that you forgot to zip up your pants. You feel totally embarrassed. Your spelling word is embarrassed and you feel too embarrassed to spell it.