You’ve been invited to dinner at your neighbor’s house next door. You reluctantly agree, but you personally do not like your neighbors. You feel that they are superficial, arrogant, and obnoxious. Here is a list of ten things to say to your obnoxious host at the dinner party.

1. Nice gown that you’re wearing. I guess you really like the Sarah Palin look.
2. You sure use a lot of light bulbs. I bet your utility bill is through the roof.
3. I just love your artificial nails, and nose, and breasts. By the way, is there any part of your body that is real?
4. Your children are just perfect. Their clothes and their manners are just perfect. Everything about them is perfect. I hate perfect.
5. I bet you spend enough on your hair to send a kid to college
6. I love the way you decorate. Is it classic Neanderthal?
7. I’m sorry that I dropped my drink on your expensive rug. Perhaps my dog Gypsy can come over and lick it up.
8. You sure know how to barbecue a steak. I’ve never had a steak that looked so black and tough.
9. Thanks for letting my son swim in your Olympic size pool. By the way, Jimmy just had to go to the bathroom, and he couldn’t wait. I hope you don’t mind, but I do believe that no one should be in your pool right now.
10. Nice watch that you’re wearing. Did you buy it from a street vendor? It looks like it might be counterfeit.