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It’s not pleasant to land in the dog house. Your wife is plainly mad at you and for good reason. Here are ten ways that you can land in the dog house:

1. You forget your anniversary and to make matters worse you insist that your wife do some laundry that night.
2. You complain to your wife that her cooking is awful and that she has a terrible smell.
3. You tell your wife how you fantasize that she looks like Halle Berry but in reality looks more like Roseanne Barr.
4. You cancel going with your wife to the opera and instead buy tickets for a monster truck show.
5. You tell your wife that you are planning to spend more time with your secretary because of urgent matters.
6. You wake up your wife in the middle of the night and tell her to stop snoring. You then fall asleep and snore twice as loudly.
7. You knock over your wife’s precious vase and then remark that it was time to get rid of that piece of junk anyway.
8. You take your wife to a fancy restaurant and then insist that she only have a salad for dinner.
9. You invite five of your bowling buddies over the house for a game of poker without warning. You tell your wife that she can clean up the mess after they leave.
10. You invest $10,000 in a stock called Almagamated Loser. The very next day the stock loses one third of its value and you tell your wife that it is only money.