1. Caffeine is bad for the environment and there is absolutely no way to dispose of caffeine properly. Just don’t ever drink it.

2. Teachers are not actually aliens. They’re actually just badly dressed people. They respond to affection and respect.

3. You really CAN whine your way out of grades. Or argue.

4. Boys are boys. There is no such thing as platonic.

5. Boys don’t ever change, they are just called men after a certain age, and their toys just get increasingly more expensive.

6. Elementary school friends are the best. They liked you before your taste of music and clothes got better.

7. The nail that sticks out does get hammered down…unless you choose to become the hammer.

8. I am still not mature enough to think that the things fat people do is not hilarious. Its still funny as hell.

9. The admins at school ARE out to get you. Merciless? I think so.

10. The counselors are the most powerful figures in school. Yes, they can change things without the Principal’s permission, and yes, they can put you in better classes with better teachers.

11. Sucking up actually works.

12. Your life WILL actually suck if you mess up in high school.

13. Skipping school is disastrous. And that one day you get to sleep in and FaceBook and YouTube and what not, is not worth it.

14. Generally, people will pretend to be richer than they really are.

15. Teachers actually get paid a lot of money. The ones that complain obviously don’t because they are just horrible teachers.

16. Yes, there are actually retarded teachers.

17. There are second chances to everything

18. The food actually tastes worse every year. Perhaps its because they never change the menu?

19.Yes, your bank account might go empty due to fast food, Chipotle, and Target.

20. People will celebrate mediocrity forever.

21. They give out contraceptives in the clinic!

22. We will really never ever know if the clinic ladies are competent enough to even give us CPR.

23. Band-aids, ice-packs, lying down, and calling mommy are the awesome services offered in the clinic

24. Gym class is actually a great GPA raiser. I wonder why I didn’t try harder…

25. Yes, we were actually that small when we were underclass men.

26. School bus’s are actually the most efficient, smartest way to get to school. Yes, I rode the bus not because I had to, but because i wanted to save money on gas and get some exercise walking home.

27. Math teachers are mean because they are missing their right hemisphere of the brain…the side that controls empathy,creativity, and compassion

28. There are actually different types of smart.

29. There are actually different types of beautiful.

30. Teachers love having in-class parties because they wanna eat free yummy food too.