Ah the joys of parenting. No one ever gave you an instruction manual with the baby on your way out of the hospital. Everyone you knew who had kids laughed at you when you said you were on your way to becoming a parent. And why? Because everyone knows that kids are mental terrorists. We don’t know exactly how they do it, but they can push your buttons in no time flat. No amount of preparation can get you ready for the years of sibling rivalry, crying, lack of sleep, diaper changing, being able to possess the energy of an Energizer bunny, holding your tongue, or messy clean-ups that come with these bundles of joy.

You figured things would be different when you had your kids. Your mother warned you about the lack of sleep you’d be getting and all the crying that your baby would be doing. But no, You thought you were different. You were going to get your baby on a schedule and you’d read up on all the tricks to soothe the fuss out of your baby. Yeah right.

The demands of being a parent are exhausting. You have to be an entertainer, teacher, janitor, cook, maid, plumber, and psychologist. You need to be able to go from 0-60, to be able to entertain the babes and make a fool of yourself if necessary, as well as fix gadgets that somehow mysteriously broke by themselves. By the end of the day, you’re ready for a well deserved nap; if you can get one.

So you want to have more than one? As if the first one wasn’t a sign of things to come. Be prepared for all the screaming and fighting between your wonderful little “angels.” One minute they’ll love each other. Then before you know it, they’ll be at each other’s throats like piranhas at an all you can eat buffet.

I don’t know what’s worse, changing a nasty poo diaper, or cleaning up a kid who’s decided to make Picasso art out of their food. Either way, the likelihood of you cleaning up both ends is 100 %. The hubby always has a convenient excuse for skipping out on the mess-control.

Before you potty train your little one, you will have used about 8 diapers a day, 365 days out of the year, for at least 2 ½ years. That’s nearly 7,000 diapers. You’ll be up to your arms in poo.

So you have a mountain of laundry, dirty dishes, and house cleaning to do. You can’t remember the last time you took a shower. The kids have been screaming all day, and actually made you find a safe place to curl into the fetal position and cry for your own mommy. Now your husband announces that he wants to make sexy time? You’re kidding right? He knows exactly where he can stick it.

The job of parenting will always be long-term, no matter when you kick them out. The position of being a parent will never change. Communication and patience are key, especially when tantrums are inevitable (on both sides). But remember, you’re the parent.

While there are no holidays, time-outs, or compensation for your efforts, the job of being a parent has its own rewards. You get unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses (when they want to). And while the job will always be difficult, the end results are worth it, because there will be more good days than bad. Besides, there’s nothing greater in life than spreading forth your demon spawn!