1. The urgency of a child’s need to use a bathroom is always in direct proportion to the distance of the nearest public restroom.

2. The probability of a child voluntarily eating a meal is inversely proportional to the length of time it took to prepare it. Factor in the vegetable ratio, use a standard deviation formula to calculate the after school snack consumption variable, and just let them have cookies for supper.

3. Children’s clothing is sold in three sizes: too big, too small, and too expensive. When they become teens, another size is added: sooooo last century!

4. Once you become a mommy, the years are calculated by the ages of your children. For example: We bought the new house the year that Suzy started kindergarten, she is 15 now, so it would have been 10 years ago.

5. The number of hours in a day can never be divided equally into the number of family members who want to use the computer.

6. My youngest daughter taught me my favourite mathematical solution when she was six. I was taking advantage of a teachable moment (You can take the teacher out of the school…). There were four granola bars on the table, so I asked my little future Einstein how many we would each get. She answered: “One each.” Then I asked how many we each would get if we had eight. She didn’t hesitate: “Two each”. Encouraged by the mathematical ability of my first grader, I asked what we would need to do if we only had two granola bars. She thought for a second, and then replied, “We would have to buy more granola bars.”