THE TRIALS OF-ENDURING JOEPUBLIC

As members of Joe Public, and yes I have composed a “trial” on that very subject, we are all too well aware of the stresses and strains we are compelled to endure. However, what of those who’s field of employment compels them to be subjected to Joe Public on a daily basis, and therefore find themselves on the receiving end of their anger and frustration?

Do they deserve what Joe Public “dishes out” to them; or do they not?

Everyone who deals with the general public, in whatever capacity, has somewhere along the line encountered “the complainer”. It’s everyone’s right to complain, but there are those members of Joe Public who make a vocation out of it whether they need to or not. No matter how good the service is, how varied the menu is, or how well cooked the meal is, they will find something to complain about as the evening would be a complete waste of time if they didn’t. I worked with someone who was like that. I often wondered why he and his wife ate out so often if everywhere they went was so awful, until he joined us for the departmental Christmas dinner. The entire company thought the food was lovely and the service excellent, but Mr Complainer extraordinaire had to find something wrong with it and complained loudly and bitterly to the waitress about some insignificant flaw attached to the proceedings and I wondered why. I concluded that Mr Complainer extraordinaire behaved in such a manner for several reasons; firstly because he suffered from feelings of inferiority and complaining loudly in restaurants and picking on a long suffering waitress was a way to generate feelings of superiority and therefore counteract this negative aspect of his character. Secondly, he knew his feelings of inferiority were not without foundation as others did not view him with the same degree of calibre as he did himself and if he didn’t draw attention to himself by complaining loudly in restaurants, no one would notice he was there and thirdly, as the manager he believed dining out was a treat for his underlings whereas it was an everyday occurrence for himself, and he had to let them know what sort of service a man of his calibre would be satisfied with, as opposed to the standard of service that “we-who-know-no-better,” would bask in.

Complaints however can have a positive influence. Having left full time employment, I found myself with time on my hands which was becoming more and more difficult to fill. The desire for a degree of social interaction, with the added advantage of a modest boost in income, inspired me to take a part time job in a nearby Pizza parlour and unless I find myself in a state of such financial embarrassment that I have to beg on the street, it will be my last! However I did derive a considerable degree of mirth from reading the customer comment cards during slack periods; not quite the effect I believe the Mr Complainers of society would have liked them to have but when you work in a Pizza parlour, you have to get your “kicks” somehow. Some of the comment cards were really dull and unimaginative, such as ticking the “No” box in response to every question, but others were absolute gems. My favourite complaint was perhaps the person who complained bitterly that the door of the restaurant opened the wrong way. Their justification for this complaint was that the door should push open not pull open, a fact they where alerted to only after having made several unsuccessful attempts to open the door and while this person was dining, they counted the number of people who made the same mistake which came to a grand total of eight. I wondered if this person seriously thought the restaurant owners would follow their directive and replace the door with one that pulled open purely for their benefit, or was it just a way to vent their frustrations at their own inadequacy; a technological inability in deducing how to open a door? I personally would recommend a different manner of venting frustrations, like writing a “trial”, as the majority of people who read the card thought, what sad individual sits in a restaurant and counts the number of people who can’t open a door? Get a life!

Another complaint I frequently came across on the comment cards, was the lack of baby changing facilities available despite the big green and white sign on the door of the disabled toilet that stated in big, bold, letters “Baby changing facilities here.” I wonder if one of those complaints came from one of the eight people who couldn’t open the restaurant door. The complaints where also very consistent with some of the questions I was asked when taking orders such as; how big is nine inches, what exactly are chillies and what do you think I would like to eat? On one occasion I was asked if the chicken was white or brown meat and I was sorely tempted to reply to the affect that it was a pizza place and the chicken was probably processed beaks, feathers and feet that had been swept off the factory floor never mind white or brown, but I decided discretion was the better part of valour and said I would check with the manager. Unfortunately he was of the opinion that the chicken was probably processed beaks, feathers and feet they swept off the factory floor as well but advised me to say it was processed chicken and therefore, indeterminate.

Another positive aspect of complainers, are those members of Joe Public who not only complain for justifiable reasons, but complain to the right person, THE MANAGER, as opposed to the Venter’s who take their frustrations out on the overworked, underpaid waitress who has no control over the particular offence committed. How I loved dragging the manager from the office they had barricaded themselves into with files and paperwork in an attempt to avoid complaining customers, and watching them squirm!

Unless of course they happen to be a rare species manager, a good one, in which case you can join them in ripping the back out of the customer after they leave to relieve your own frustrations. Regarding members of Joe Public who vent at waitresses for insignificant reasons, I’ve often wondered if they are aware that their complaint will fall on deaf ears. In the middle of the mayhem of a busy restaurant, there is the single mum who’s still trying to pay off last years Christmas debts and has an appointment with the Child Support Agency in order to recoup six years maintenance from the ex, who’s just sent her a post card from Bermuda, there’s the girl whose husband has left her for another woman, the building society are threatening her with repossession of her house and Easy Jet have never heard of the nice airline pilot she met in a night club who will likely remain blissfully unaware of the fact he’s about to be a Father, and 15 – 24 year olds who can get a crap job on the minimum wage anywhere and as they only want a bit of petrol, drink or holiday money and have no intentions of making a career out of serving pizzas, they can leave anytime and couldn’t care less if they’re sacked. There exists therefore a great deal of diversity amongst the staff in a busy pizza parlour, however, they all have one thing in common, none of them care less whether you got extra pepperoni on your pizza or not, irrespective of how much you complain! What about the Manager? Sorry Joe Public, the manager doesn’t care either as he or she is too busy prioritizing, and complaining bitterly that someone filed the pink sales slips in the drawer allocated for blue sales slips and guess what? Nobody cares about the sales slips and disruption to the filing system either, irrespective of the fact the manager thinks they should.

Another thing Joe Public seems to love is getting something for nothing, and let me give you a few examples. I can recall someone leaving the pizza parlour with a take-away only to return 45 minutes later, after having eaten it, and with receipt in hand claimed they had been overcharged by eighty pence for extra chicken and they had not asked for extra chicken when they ordered the take-away. This confused me as it probably cost them more than eighty pence in terms of fuel to drive back to the pizzas parlour and then return home. The following day, I experienced a similar thing in a Supermarket. A woman in front of me at the check out was complaining bitterly to the cashier, while pointing to a week old receipt for her groceries, that she didn’t get the special price offer on a packet of sauce and wanted a refund, which equated to forty pence. Again I thought to myself could you be bothered with the hassle however the next time I was in work, I began to think there was method in their madness. Due to circumstances beyond our control, we were unable to open the restaurant on time and opened twenty minutes later than usual. A customer who regularly took our “all you can eat lunch offer to the limit,” suggested that as a gesture of good will we should give him discount due to the fact that we were late opening. I often called into my local for a pint on the way home from work and I decided it was time I took a lesson from Joe Public. I drew the Patron’s attention to the fact the pub had not opened at exactly 11.30 that day and as I was as a regular customer, I believed that as a gesture of good will, I should get a free pint. I believe the reply was something along the lines of being served alcohol in another premises and doing something physically impossible to myself following my departure!

I suppose that’s what I get for trying it on with bar staff as not only have the unique privilege of refusing to serve members of Joe Public they don’t like, they can physically remove them from the premises without repercussions.

At the time of writing this “trial,” I heard on the radio that the people who are reputed to be happiest in their job are hairdressers and the broadcaster was discussing why this should be? Perhaps it is due to the fact that their job is non-confrontational. Hairdressing involves plenty of friendly interaction and with more beauticians becoming attached to hairdressing salons, when you leave the premises not only feeling a million dollars, you’ve talked over all your problems as well. It’s amazing what people will talk to their hairdresser about. I told my hairdresser she could make a fortune if she also became a qualified therapist. In my part of the world, hairdressers also very often receive big tips which make them happy and more amicable and amenable towards their clients. When I worked in a Pizza parlour I can recall someone leaving me a “fifty pence off your next pizza” voucher as a tip. Should have taken up hairdressing!

So why are other areas of dealing with Joe Public stressful and confrontational? There are an infinite number of answers to the above question but it can be brought down to one thing; the people on both sides of the divide are not making each other happy, which is a key element in the relationship between Joe Public and those that serve them, and a key element Hairdressing. The client is happy because the hairdresser has made them feel good about themselves, performed the task to the best of their ability and therefore, Joe Public has no objection to parting with the cash as a token of their appreciation. In turn, the hairdresser pays the client the attention they expect, takes pride in their work, feels appreciated when heavily tipped and is therefore more likely to an excellent job the next time around, and so it goes on. That’s how the relationship between Joe Public and those who serve them should be. Does Joe Public commend a good job as often as they complain about a bad one? Perhaps they would get better service if they did. Joe Public may often have legitimate grounds for complaint, however is rudeness, bad manners or humiliating another human being simply because you can legitimate? Is hairdressing the only avenue of employment left where people are recognised as human beings and where their need to feel valued and good about themselves is catered for, and where employees are rewarded for taking pride in their word as opposed to being taken advantage of? My plea to Joe Public is complaining is not the only method of achieving results. There are better ways, such as making a person feel valued is not only a better method, but achieves a result above and beyond what is expected. For those who would turn their back on my plea, I suggest you drink in my local.