“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

Thank you for pointing that out, Brooke, I didn’t quite realize that.

“It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago”

- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

Wow, we sure have a knack for electing stupid (or crazy) officials in our government!

“Outside consultants sought for test of gas chamber.”

- Ad in Arizona Republic

Do I really need to comment on that???

“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious.”

- Alan Minter, Boxer

Hey, that sounds familiar, Brooke and Alan should talk about whether death is very serious sometime!

“I don’t think we learned a lesson; I think it was a learning experience for us.”

- Shaquille O’Neal, basketball player, after game 4 of the 2001 NBA finals, on being asked by NBC reporter Jim Gray if LA had learned a lesson from what happened the previous year in Indiana.

Yeah, I can never tell the difference between learning a lesson and a learning experience!

“You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.”

- Interview with CBS News’ Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

Yes, we know, it’s hard for all of us, too!

“My plan reduces the national debt, and fast. So fast, in fact, that economists worry that we’re going to run out of debt to retire.”

- Radio address, Feb. 24, 2001

Um, I think that next time, we should elect a President who knows what the word “debt” means.

“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”

- Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

Good for you.

“Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?”

- Florence, South Carolina, Jan. 11, 2000

Well, I guess you never did!

“If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.”

- Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000

And you’re SURE that isn’t already the case?