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Top 10 Types of Farts That We All Love

Published by Bo Russo in Life
December 21st, 2008

The Best Farts and all about them.

You might also have a good laugh at:

The Best Places to Fart

OK, boys and girls, we’ve come to agree that farts are funny,farts are great, farts we can appreciate. We already know that farts can save your life, farts are healthy, can be stealthy, and an indicator of an upcoming fecal event, so let’s take a look at the different kids of farts we can enjoy, or be appalled by. This list was compiled by an expert fart panel that takes into consideration many different kids of farts exist.

I myself am not only a writer but a member of the expert fart panel as well. The fart list is as follows:

Image via Wikipedia

1)Taco Bell farts. These farts are as unique as other farts. Taco Bell farts are three to five minute long farts that mysteriously happen about six hours after you eat a Burrito Supreme or two, and a soft taco or two, and are asleep, often awaking the offender about halfway through.

2)Italian Shooting Antipasto farts. These are quick but harmless, but shoot out at great velocity, like greased lightning. We use olive oil in and on everything. When I was a kid, I think my great grandmother might have put olive oil in my milk and in the syrup on my pancakes. These farts feel great with no spray side effects.

3)Spicy flamethrower farts. These farts are from Taco Shops that we have all over the southwestern U.S. The food is great but a couple of good chili rellenos will burn going in your mouth and burn coming out. We highly recommend never to attempt these farts around young children or flammable things like foliage. It is always best to safely sit on an approved toilet with functional plumbing and running water.

4)Diarrhea farts. Never ever ever attempt a diarrhea fart anywhere other than on a safety rated working toilet. The blast often is expelled at high velocity in all directions, and the farter has no aim control with these. These are noticeable ahead of time and often accompanied with stomach pain.

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39 Comments
  1. Posted December 21, 2008 at 10:10 am

    This is incredibly gross but amusing non the less. It reminds me of a “Different Types Of Poop” book I saw while at a Barnes and Noble in LA.

  2. Posted December 21, 2008 at 10:17 am

    Bojack, you are sooooo nasty! Great article.

    Happy holidays and God bless.

  3. Posted December 21, 2008 at 10:34 am

    VERY NICE ARTICLE!!

  4. Posted December 21, 2008 at 10:54 am

    My lady’s got some silent and deadly one’s, lol.

  5. Posted December 21, 2008 at 11:24 am

    Remember,when farting,always use hand & eye protection,and follow the recommended safety suggestions here.Thanks for the comments,guys.Oh,for Ms.Canada up there,Taco Bell is a fast food restaurant down here.

  6. Posted December 21, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    LMAO!!!!!!!!

  7. Posted December 21, 2008 at 7:11 pm

    this is funny but…very very gross

  8. Lauren Axelrod
    Posted December 21, 2008 at 8:40 pm

    OMG, how hilarious and nasty

  9. Posted December 21, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    Thanks guys,This type of stuff is fun to write.Demented, but fun

  10. Posted December 21, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    I think this one was funnier than the first one you wrote. I had to wait until the tears cleared to start writing.

    There is nothing worse than when they hang around in the air and slowly drift from room to room like a lead balloon, you walk right into it without any warning.

    Zip Code farts! Hee hee…good one!

  11. Posted December 22, 2008 at 5:22 am

    Hahaha! You made me laugh.

  12. Posted December 22, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    Thanks for the laugh!

  13. Posted December 22, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    This is funny also thanks for the write! enjoyed it!

  14. Posted December 22, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    Thanks again for the laugh. I hope I never smell any of these. LOL!

  15. Posted December 22, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    Umnn lol I don’t know what to say. Very creative and funny.

  16. Melissa
    Posted December 23, 2008 at 10:11 pm

    good

  17. Ron
    Posted December 24, 2008 at 7:17 am

    what a wonderfull job on this article

  18. Posted December 25, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    Thanks Ron,thanks everybody,Thanks Morgana.You guys are the best.Watch those farts.

  19. Posted March 8, 2009 at 8:05 am

    BoJack,
    I really like your stories abouts farts. You missed the Garlic Pizza fart. One of my favorites. When we were in Corpus Christi, Texas there was the pizza bar that served Garlic Pizza. The clove or more of garlic was baked on top of the pizza. After eating you smelled like garlic, your sweat, piss, and farts. Pam would not kiss me for a week, but it was one of the best pizza’s I ever ate. I hit all of your pictures last night, and some of your stories while I was at work. If you get a chance hit some of Pam’s other stories, or pictures.
    Thanks

  20. Mrs. Turaz
    Posted May 17, 2009 at 12:42 am

    This really BoJack! No offense!

  21. Mrs. Turaz
    Posted May 17, 2009 at 12:47 am

    I think it is very well researched. Jammalakallaah!

  22. Posted May 17, 2009 at 7:04 am

    Spicy flamethrower farts – awesome!

  23. Posted August 17, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    yes Bo, your comical assessment is hysterical, as usual your humor always seems to get us right in the gut where the crisis first begins,lol, verry funny and that tune is on it’s way TODAY. Thanks for the laugh, I needed that! Classic Bo Jack Express!

  24. Posted August 17, 2009 at 3:28 pm

    We called my mum Lily the ‘machine gun’ Bowes, because when she farted she would try to get to the bathroom; but with each step she would let out another one. This embarrassed her so much she would speed up causing the farts to be released like a machine gun.

  25. Posted August 17, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Bo You neglected to mention the dreaded Ambush fart. It most often occurs while waiting in line at the supermarket. Your spouse walks up drops a major silent gas bomb and then mentions she or he forgot some item. They walk off leaving you standing in line with 4 unhappy strangers all thinking you were the culprit. My wife got so good at this one that I refused to go shopping with her for a time.

  26. Posted August 17, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    I hate it when husband’s try to blame their wives for thir ill farting timing. LOL

  27. Posted August 17, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    Isn’t it lovely of husbands when they try to push their ill timing farts on their innocent wives. LOL

  28. JLEck
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    I think you could squeeze out a volume two with this little stinker!

  29. Posted August 18, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    Great stuff Bo I’ll try a few later. Whoops gotta run.

  30. Posted August 21, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    This is the funniest article I have read in a very long time. I have got to let my husband read it when he gets back from camping. He is going to love it.

  31. Posted October 29, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    Gross but hilarilousley funny! I like to prose myself in doing some of my town’s best zip code farts lol XD

  32. Bo
    Posted October 30, 2009 at 7:21 am

    Poorly written.

  33. Experienced Farter
    Posted December 3, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    Yay! I love farts! Oh, and here’s another one: DOG FARTS! Dog farts are usually loud, drawn out, and EXTREMELY smelly. Dog farts aren’t the funniest kind of fart, but they are definitely good for livening up a boring Sunday afternoon! Note: While this specific kind of fart is humorous coming from a Saint Bernard, it is many times better coming from a Chihuahua. :)
    Sincerely,
    Experienced Farter

  34. Posted April 7, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    Funny. Bo Jack is a genius in farts.

  35. billn
    Posted December 13, 2010 at 9:20 am

    20 years ago at Disney World, there were new cars on display. We both got in the car and very shortly after, I unloaded a flutter blast from deep in my colon, leaving a horrific smell. I quickly exited the car. My wife for some reason was either in shock or something, remained in the car. Within a few seconds, another man hopped in the car. He must have figured that my wife was the culprit. I stood outside the car with my wife starring at me with hate in her eyes. To this day, I smile when I think of that situation!!

  36. berny
    Posted January 30, 2011 at 11:39 pm

    George Carlin said it best when he stated the different types of farts … they are as follows: there is the FIZZ , THE FAZZ , THE FIZZ FAZZ , THE RIP SH&& , THE TEAR A!! AND THE ONE THAT GOES WHOOSH .

  37. BERNY
    Posted January 30, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    oops I forgot one here they are again in the correct order .
    THE FIZZ , THE FAZZ , THE FIZZ FZZ THE RIP SHI& , TEAR A$$ , THE SNORTER AND THE ONE THA GOES WHOOSH !!!!! tHE BEST PALCE TO FART IS A SILENT ONE ON AN ELEVATOR FULL OF PEOPLE . AND WOMEN DON’T FART , HOWEVER SOMETIMES THEY ARE NEAR A DOG THAT DOES . FARTING IS GREAT … ITS A NATURAL BIOLOGICAL FUNCTION AND ITS BAD FOR TO HOLD THEM IN ….. I FARTED ONCE SO BAD IN BED BEFORE KICKING ME OUT OF THE BEDROOM MY WIFE CHECKED THE BED FOR SHE THOYGHT I SOILED THE BED . WHEN IN PUBLIC IF I FEEL THE URGE I FIND A LRGE GROUP OF PEOPLE JUST STANDING AROUND WA;L AMOUNGEST THEM AND SQUEEZE IT OUT STAND FOR A FEW MOMENTS THEN LOOK ANGERLY AT EVERYONE … TRY THIS ONE ITS GREAT .

  38. Posted March 24, 2013 at 11:07 am

    My. Dogie. Farts

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