Follow us on Twitter
Top Five African Dictators with the Most Bizarre Titles
A list of African dictators who have been given, or more likely have given themselves, the strangest titles and names.
For some reason or the other, the continent of Africa seems to produce more than its fair share of dictators. Other areas of the world have certainly spawned megalomaniac despots aplenty. However Africa seems to have cornered the rather dubious market in eccentric despots with stupid titles.
Here are the top five arranged according to the sheer stupidity of their names:
No 5
Dictator: Robert Mugabe
Country: Zimbabwe (1980 – Present)
Opening our little list is Robert Mugabe, the current president of Zimbabwe. Mad Bob has single handedly turned his country from a shining beacon of hope and light in Southern Africa into a starving, economically destitute hell hole. Well done Bob.
Dictator Credentials
Bob Mugabe only really turned into “Mad” Bob Mugabe relatively recently. When Zimbabwe achieved independence from England the country progressed in leaps and bounds. Bob placed significant emphasis on improving agriculture and the educational system. In fact, after a few years, Zimbabwe’s education system was probably the best in Africa and generated a huge number of well qualified graduates.
However in 1991 though it all started going pear shaped. Bob expatriated land from large economically active (and mostly white owned) farms with the intention to redistribute these to poorer black farmers.
Of course in a trend that feels almost inevitable these farms landed up in the hands of Bobs family and other cronies. No producing farms eventually meant no food and this process soon spiraled out of control into the situation as it is today with a starving population, a worthless currency and inflation at about 11000%.
The honest truth is that it for your average Zimbabwean it is cheaper to wipe your ass using 1 Zim Dollar notes than it is to buy toilet paper. That’s just funny in a really sad way.
Strange Name
Mad Bob Mugabe earns his place in this list for a slightly different reason from his more eminently qualified colleagues. To his credit he didn’t go around handing himself titles like the others on this list. Instead Bob was given his title by the Queen of England no less.
So to her eternal shame in 1994 Queen Elizabeth II bestowed upon Robert Mugabe the honor of Knight Commander of the Order of Bath. So his full name is Robert Mugabe KBC which is not quite Sir Bob but it’s a bit too close for comfort.
No 4
Dictator: Muammar al-Gaddafi
Country: Libya (1969-present)
For the geographically challenged amongst you (read: American), Libya is in the North of Africa and not somewhere in the Middle East. Although this fact didn’t exactly stop Muammar from behaving exactly like a crazy, plane bombing, child killing terrorist leader.
Liked it
I’m fairly sure the little czar won’t want to go anywhere just because that 22nd amendment says he has to vacate the white house.
Given his petulant scorn for the rest of the Constitution, I can’t imagine why he’d suddenly agree to comply with the law of the land.
Certainly McCorpse will want to be on the list whether or not the RNC/GOP pulls off another successful election theft.
I always thought Mad Tommy DeLay would make a great dictator. After a long and successful career poisoning bugs and vermin, he apparently breathed in a little too much of his secret extinction juice. Makes it tough to hold a real job, but he’s not looking for one anyway.
As a chemically insane religious fundie loon, he’s got the proper wingnut pedigree. Too bad about that federal felony conspiracy indictment for his participation in a Texas campaign money scam.
Too bad his former pal Abramoff is collaborating with the federales and snitching off anybody he ever had a beer with in an effort to stay out of prison.
But with all the choices in the Bush white house, and all the unindicted enforcers and button men who work for the Bush international crime syndicate and mass murder cartel, LLC., there are plenty of new aspiring fascist dictators to fill the spots of the recently retired or deceased.
Happy hunting,
wp
intelligent were witty very funny true but sad and i thought i was a nut
I feel the dictator u missed is Bingu wa Mutharika , the current president of Malawi, Southern africa. This man is busy violating the country’s constitution, giving un consultative decisions and arresting his opponents
Good article, but the America bashing a tad unnecessary.
Dictators are bad people
I was just in another area and a black male in his blog made the comment “whites will be upset to hear that Africa was the origin of mankind”. I hardly think that the country one is born in signifies more intelligence even though the so called “statistics” insist on the higher intelligence of the Japanese, Israelis’, and Scandinavians. Actually Africa points to the lower intelligence and dependent people. Well, we all have to start somewhere. By the way, don’t forget the bias in the face of facts. Studies show that white males are the majority of inventors in science, medical, electronics, art, humanities, etc. Liberals will object to this, of course, it is their nature. Statistics this time seem correct. The Japanese admit to constant studying for high marks, the Israeli’s are opportunistic taking advantage of all in their purview , and the Scandinavians are curious physically and mentally. Unfortunately Americans are foolish at Politics.
Mugabe is not a purely dictator,westerns are branding this name bs he betrayed their wishes!
african dictators,1.idd amin dada.2 Mengistu.3.Mobutu.4.Omar al bashir.5,banda.6.mseveni.8.gadaffi 9.abacha.10.bokassa
I agree
I did a poo
Could you do a little research and add Meles Zenawi of Ethiopia to the lsit? For me he is one of the top 5 dictators.
I really enjoyed the article although its totally depressing.
Come on Africa, lets pull it together already.
You conveniently left out that Britain chose Mugabe specifically for his vile nature, because they wanted to intimidate Ian Smith, then prime minister of Rhodesia (old name for Zimbabwe), out of the picture in order to prevent him from accomplishing his goal which was Rhodesia’s independence from England. Mugabe was a nut when the propped him up. Only thing is, he proved nuttier than they had expected when he reneged on the deal to maintain power for Britain in Zimbabwe’s parliament, at which point he became an “enemy of democracy” and the embargo’s began. So, it was the mad dictator, combined with US backed embargos and successive draughts that led to the mess we see today. But I wouldn’t expect you to let a little thing like historical facts get in the way of your bash Africa fest.
ESCLUDING THE NAME PAUL BIYA BI MVONDO,THE CURRENT PRESIDENT OF CAMEROON FROM THE TOP FIVE MAKES THE WORD DICTATOR MEANINGLESS.
i guess you miss perceive to include Mugabe in the list,..damn your negative ideas towards the son of africa
I was working in different Africa countries for the past 12yrs, for me Ethiopian PM Meles Zenawi is the most Dectator.
Are you guys think Mugabe the most dectator just because he resist the exploitation of westerns,Shame on you … we never knee down for your propaganda … why do not you take a close look of Meles Zenawi the enemy of his own country and people.He is a #1 Dectator but you do not want to listen because he is your housemaid.
well 4 ur own infor. mugabe is a dumb ass, an old prick. u hu say he aint a dictactor should go hang. he’s africa’s curse. we are sick and tired of the bastard. he must be sent to outa space for all his sins.
raddical liberal zimbo intelectual
these guys are dump pricks who made asses of themselves by ruining their countries. no punishment even seems befitting for them-not even hanging
You also forgot Paul Bathelemy Biya bi Mvondo of Cameroon alias “Homme Lion” or the Lion man from 1982 – Present
Please, do a research before putting up an article of this sort for public consumtion. Leaving out Paul Biya of cameroon makes no sense and leaves your polished languague wasted.
NAO E NORMAL FALAR DE DITADORES E ESQUECER JOSE EDUARDO DOS SANTOS DE ANGOLA , ACHO MELHOR REVER BEM ESTA LISTA .
Mugabe is not a dictator. This man’s sin is fighting for the rights of his people. Reposessing land stolen by the Britts. Calling Mugabe a dictator is racial.
Uganda,an East African country has the greatest dictator dis world will ever see.Overstayin in power, organsin fake elections en stealin the country’s resources are some of the tesimonies.
How about Europe and American Dictator
1. Bush
2. Tony Blair
and many more that are also committing crime against huminatiy. the world is so focus on africa that they forget that they are also doing the same.
True, i absolutely agree with many that Museveni is among the top African dictactors. The issue about multi-party,elections,development,…are all cosmetic & meant to deserve the world. Vote rigging,harrassment of opposition members eg FDC is just unbearable. This is to overlook the stinking nepotism & corruption. The man has appointed his wife & brother ministers! Sensitive ministries are held by close relatives eg Sam Kuteesa. His son in-charge of PGB,while majority of the top military officers are from his ethnic tribe.All national institutions are limping eg Public Service.
Pray for Uganda.
In response to the post by Lulu , Africa did indeed have great civilizations and societies and excelled at science, math, astronomy, and great buildings with a highly excelled infrastructure before being vanquished and nearly being totally destroyed by the Arab Muslims and the European Christians. What has been taught to us here in the USA for the past few centuries has in itself been revisionist history after many of the archives , artifacts, structures, records and librarys were destroyed by the Arab and European invaders. Yes, European whites have in the past century produced many inventions of technology after having vanquished many indigenous ethnicities and their resources and also having prohibited many blacks in the past from filing and registering patents. I don’t consider the atrocities of Hitler, Stalin , Pol Pot, Lenin, the KKK, the white slavemasters who enslaved black Africans for centuries to have engaged in acts of intelligence and moral superiority. There were wars of the colonies within continental Africa for ages and many highly respected historians and anthropologists have concluded that Africa is indeed the cradle of civilization and hasd great civilizations long before the Greeks and Romans. Nevertheless, designing and building fancy gadgets doesn’t make one intelligent or superior. Subjugating and vanquishing other indigenous ethnic groups is not a hallmark of honor and pride. All races have their genious individuals and also their ample share of evil barbarians. No ethnic group can claim a monopoly of utopian moral superiority over others. There is good and bad in all races and those who are in denial of this are the epitome of brainwashed “mindless manipulated robots” and hoodwinked racist bigots.
What is Zimbabwe waiting for? The revolution is NOW. Algeria, Syria, Iran, Bahrain, Libya, Egypt, Jordan, Yemen, Palestine, Tunisia and Sudan are fighting for their RIGHTS. Mugabe, once a freedom fighter, now an oppressor. BOB MARLEY IS VERY MUCH DISAPPOINTED.
if u want to listen please do fair and not bais, if u dont know the real dictators like meles zinawi please ask the Ethiopia people who meet killinig, sending jails, torture and so on
I agree with u this leaders are ruthless dictators, and I’m very sory what is happening in Libya today and what Qaddafi doing now, but the prime minister of Ethiopia is number one & not mr mugabe, I’m sure that
mr meles zinawe is the most brutal man in Africa today, he kills his own people every day, he is using the systems of stalism of Russia and racism of Hitler, you people what is wrong with u? don’t u know the conditoins of political prisoners in Ethiopia, the refugee, the homeless, the children in Ehiopia,
actually Ethiopian people have been brutalised, marginalised, many are starving and many have fled,
if u want to see or know the real situation of civilians in Ethiopia, pls go the Oromia,Ogaden or Ahmaro regions of that country, people are suffering a lot.
mr: kayse from University of Johhanesburg, south Africa
DICTATOR Like Gadaffi should step down insted of leting his country in ruin.
Breeders of dictators all over the world are britain, france, america and lately china. With out strong support from these powers who preach democracy during the day and who seed dictators seeking their strategic interests, no dictator could last long. The world will never be safer unless the west compromise on their greed, and Africans despots learn that backing from the west is mainly based on disproportionate benefit to the west.
For me , zenawi must be one of the top five dictators Africa has ever seen.
FOLA, well spoken.
Thank you.
If you open your eys you can always see at election time the hand of Britain and the US etc holding puppet strings… watch the BBC and CNN news… watch the style and flavour of the campaigns… Its all clear as day. You can even predict where there will be fighting after elections.
Check Kenya and SA.
See the impact of China, who are going to outnumber africans in africa, and start winning elections right here. Hahaha
Before you nominate pm. Melese Zenawi as dictator you should have put the reasons clearly. May be your number one reason is either he led the struggle to ousted Mengstu or protected the Eritrean Agressor Leader.