1. Road Rage

The rage of car drivers, caused by the actions of fellow drivers of motorized vehicles has long been recognized. Show any indecision while driving a car, for instance when looking for a left or right turn while driving in unknown territory, and more than likely you’ll fall victim to a passing road rager who will call you a “masturbator” (or words to that effect) and/or perform the actions involved in the act of a male masturbating, by way of a gesticulation from their driver’s window.

Take the wring turn rather than hesitating. If you find yourself the target of a road rager remember – Do not make eye contact and under no circumstances should you blow them a kiss.

2. Pedestrian Rage

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The rage of pedestrians, caused by the actions of fellow pedestrians and drivers of motorized vehicles has not yet become recognized. Jay walking, walking unfeasibly slow and standing chatting with friends (thus blocking the pavement) is likely to spark pedestrian rage. Don’t be surprised to be, accidentally on purpose, barged with the bag of a pedestrian rage if you are offending in this manner.

If you find yourself the target of a pedestrian rager remember – do not make eye contact with a pedestrian rager and under no circumstances should you blow them a kiss.

3. Supermarket Trolley Rage

Supermarket Trolley Rage, the rage of supermarket trolley pushers, caused by the actions of fellow supermarket trolley pushers is (like pedestrian rage) not yet recognized. Leave your trolley mid supermarket shopping aisle thus blocking the flow of other trolleys, stand chatting with your trolley to the pusher of another trolley and by so doing so block access to standard food stuffs – bread for example – and more than likely you’ll fall victim to a passing supermarket trolley rager.

To reduce the odds of being targeted by a supermarket trolley rager do not shop AT Aldis, Morrisons, Safeways, Sainsburys or Tescos but instead shop at Waitrose. Shop online to avoid supermarket shopping trolley ragers. Also do not make eye contact with a supermarket trolley rager and under no circumstances should you blow them a kiss.

4. Computer Rage

Computer Rage, the rage of computer users, caused by slow connection speeds, crashing computers, AOL and Adobe surprisingly still remains unrecognized. Unless you work for AOL or Adobe it is easy to avoid being the victim of a computer rager. However, computer rage encourages its participant to chuck their computers out of the nearest window.

It is impossible to make eye contact with a computer rager as they are oblivious to real people, ditto blowing them a kiss. It is very unlikely you’ll find yourself the victim of a computer rager unless you happen to be walking under the window the computer rager bungs their computer from. The only way to avoid this happening is to be vigilant while walking by office windows and/or wear a padded hat.

5. Telephone Rage

Telephone rage, the rage of people receiving cold calls or calls from BT or any other telecommunications supplier they are contracted to has recently been recognized. The only way of avoiding becoming the victim of telephone ragers is to not make cold calls or work for BT or any other telecommunications supplier.

If you work in telesales or telemarketing it is impossible to avoid becoming the recipient of a telephone rager’s bile. If you have to be a telephone operator best thing to do is ignore telephone ragers, put the telephone down on them and dial your next number.

Advice To All Ragers

If you are a road, pedestrian, computer, supermarket trolley and/or telephone rager – you need to chill out! You take life far too seriously and will only end up becoming a laughing stock, comedy material and a just target for comic criticism, unless you change your ways.

Need Good Advice?

For other nuggets of good advice please visit Wilma Proops – just Google her. Wilma runs the ONLY Comedy Problem Page in the world – raison de être – many a true word spoken in jest!