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What Do Teenagers Want?
As a parent of two of these creatures, I feel qualified to answer this question. They want money!
Last year, I wrote an article called Mommy Can I Have? Back then, I was sure that my name was Mommy Can I Have… (fill the blank with whatever they desperately need at the moment.) I know it was only a year ago, but now that my youngest has turned thirteen, I am officially a mom of teens (plural). The most notable change is that now they just want the cash to go shopping with their friends and purchase the items themselves.
We have increased their allowance since then. Hubby was sure that that would solve the begging problem. He was wrong.
Now when they ask for the latest gadget or gizmo, I ask them “where is your money?” If by some quirk of nature they still have any of their allowance money left, the answer will be “I’m saving mine to buy…”
They are just not catching on to my reasoning that it makes no sense for the family budget that since we give them money to buy what they want, that we should pay for what they want so that they can save up to buy something else that they want. I tell them things like, “I’m saving my money to buy groceries and pay the mortgage.” They don’t get it.
I have attempted to teach budgeting skills to my girls, but – who am I kidding? I have never learned these skills; so how can I teach them? Perhaps I shouldn’t have resorted to taking them shopping whenever they were grumpy babies.
I occasionally resort to “When I was your age…” They still roll their eyes at this. My eldest now has one more tool in her arsenal. She makes puppy dog eyes and says, “But don’t you want your children to have a better life than you did?”
I have decided that there must be a limit to how much better I want their lives to be. I saw on one of those reality shows that I don’t watch, an interview with Tori Spelling, daughter of gazillionaire Aaron Spelling. She told the camera, with a straight face, that she has always resented her mother’s stinginess, and that her mother had used the “When I was your age…” speech on her. What, Tori’s mother only got one new car for each birthday and she doesn’t think her daughter really needs five new cars a year? It must be a universal parenting tactic that doesn’t work on rich teenagers either.
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18 Comments
I chuckled all the way through that piece. It was as if I was reading about my boys, though they were allowed the money as payment for jobs they had done ‘prpoerly’ around the house. They soon cottoned on to this and their words were: “Are there any jobs that need doing?” I always knew what this meant. LOL Great work as always Karen.
Christine
Enjoyable article, Karen. Yeah, the kids learned early on that they’re going to have to work for anything they get. They also learned that if they offer to help (volunteer) they get paid more than if I ask / tell them to do something. Now when I go outside to do a project I get lots of help!
this is funny. great write.
Enjoyable anecdotes (as usual)
Every parent seems to go throught he same thing with their kids. They know all the winning ways lol. My daughter had a fashion of saying ” But the other kids are allowed” whch i would always answer back ” I’m not worried about the other kids I only worry about you” she now uses the same words on our two grandsons lol. As for budgeting money , well thats still ongoing and she has been married 18 years lol. Excellent write Karen I really enjoyed this!
Many of your stories make me laugh. I chuckled from beginning to the end of this one. Thank you for sharing your humorous stories.
Karen you have tapped into a universal delemma.
All kids, not just teens, want money! As director of an after school kid’s club, my young charges expected “tokens” (the primitive form of real cash) for participating in the two programs each year, good behavior, being on time, being helpful, and the winner of every “olympic” competition we had on the church yard!
What did they buy with these tokens…gadgets…you know balloons, play doh, pencils, stickers, plastic jewelry, toy cars, small stuffed toys (donations from the fine folks in the church)…and food items like candy (didn’t happen too often).
So it just isn’t parents who have to put on the armor to ward off the onslaught of money-ities among the younger set…anyone who dares to commit themselves to kids, becomes part of this. And you have to love these little rascals, in order to bear it!
That was funny.
Well done.
Inna
Great! Just great!! Rachelle is only 11 and if I take her with me when I need something, it never fails that she’ll want something too regardless that she already has a gazillion t-shirts that she already doesn’t wear. what’s one more?
May God have mercy on you while you raise teenagers. My husband and I made it through those years but only by the hair of our teeth. Glad those days are over.
Your way of seeing the humourous side takes you along on life’s journey.
I just have to say it,”Kids today are spoiled” I know that shows how old I am. Everything is so commercial its hard to teach kids real values.
Yes, kids are different now.I think because they are exposed to new things and because of peer or media influences.
This article is entertaining when educating. Well done.
This was a joy to read, Karen! I have two boys, 13 and 18 and I can definitely relate but thank-god they know how to earn that dollar because I’m became strict earlier on.
A good read. Nice article.
Says it like it is. My children grew up in poverty and never asked for anything because they knew I could not give it to them. However, now that they are parents and can give their children what they never could have, my grandkids act just like other kids who expect to get everything they want. They do not appreciate what they have.
Young teens are perhaps the hardest. They haven’t developed an understanding of the realities of budget and time. I was relieved with each of mine when they passed their 15th birthday. Somewhere between 13 and 15, they realized that I wasn’t just saying no to be mean. Till then, I heard a lot of “But Mo-om, everyone else…” and I think I mastered every variation possible on, “If everyone else…would you?”