So you’re home alone and ready to have some fun? Here are ten fun filled ways to enjoy some alone time without getting caught. I reccomend taking pictures of the apartment before trying these so that you can put everything back before your roommate’s return.

1. Air Dry

    It’s summertime and you’ve always wanted to go au natural right? Why not pull your blinds closed, take a brisk shower and feel the wind beneath your wings. You can save money on your laundry bills and feel at one with nature all at the same time.

2. The Layaway Plan

   So you’re out of paper towels and you see that your roommate has recently  visited Costco. Why not snag a bag and worry about it later. It’s not stealing if you plan to replace them… eventually. The same goes for toilet paper, ziploc bags, aluminum foil, plastic wrap, laundry detergent and dishwashing liquid and chips. Join the layaway plan and experience all the name brand luxuries you could never afford on your wimpy salary. As long as you don’t use more than a small amount of these items, you’re roommate will never know.

3. Mr. Clean

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   Now that the slob’s away, it’s time for the mice to play. Crack open some windows, spray some air freshener and get to work. If you’re lucky, you could enjoy up to two whole weeks of fresh spotless apartment time before pig pen makes another mess. Give yourself a pat on the back, invite your mother over and even post pictures of your cleanliness on Facebook. You deserve it after all that work right?

4. Pig Pen
   

   Maybe you’re the slob and you’re tired of being nagged about your sty. It’s your apartment so feel free to spread some sludge around. Maybe you have post traumatic stress from the time you dropped cheetos on the rug. Get revenge by buying a Big Grab Bag. Rip it open and dump it all on the floor. Then email your roommate pictures of you making a cheetos snow angel in the living room. Justice is served.

5. Sublet

   Why not open a bed and breakfast? Grab your shady friend, a lock picking kit and rent out your roommate’s room for 50 dollars a  night. You could even throw in a free “continental breakfast” and sell some of the stuff in the at a “souvenir shop”.

6. Hibernation
   

   Use your sick days from work and take a stay-cation. Sleep in until 2 in the afternoon without having to explain why you missed both breakfast and lunch  and now instead of brunch, you’re eating  linner. Ditch class to veg out from dawn until dusk and never have to say you’re sorry.

7. Little Miss Piggy

   Ever hear of fourth meal? Why not binge a little now that your skinny roommate isn’t around to make you feel guilty. Visit the hostess store and grab some milano cookies, whipped cream, strawberries dark chocolate milky way bars, Pop corn, nachos, and Vanilla Coke. Go to the video store, rent your favorite tv series and have a marathon to celebrate having the apartment to yourself.

8. Desert Storm

   If it’s not your week to pay the electric bill, why not crank up the AC and ride out the scorching summer heat in style. You could make kool aid popsicles or a chilly margarita and laugh at the sweaty people walking by outside your window.

9. To Market We Stay

   If you need to make a little money, why not hold an indoor yard sale or farmer’s market and capitalize on your newfound extra space. Put out an ad in the paper, or on craigslist and charge venders a 30 dollar “Booth rental fee” . They’ll jump at the chance to rent a cheap, air conditioned space while hawking their wares.

10. Bow Chica Wow Wow (What?!)

    So you’re a grown-up in need of a little alone time with that certain someone? Why not turn your empty apartment into a love dome worthy of a Penthouse letter. Grab some scented candles and a bag of chocolate from the dollar store, pop in a Luther Vandross cd and impress your date by dipping into your roommate’s dvd collection.

After doing all of these things , simply refer back to the picture you took and put everything back exactly as it was. No one will ever know how naughty you were, and you’ll have some great stories to tell at next year’s Christmas party. Enjoy!