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When Someone Insults You: 12 Neat Comebacks
Have you ever been taken by surprise when someone insulted you? Were you at a loss for words?
Put-down artists count on the element of surprise when launching insulting remarks. Master these comebacks and put put-down artists in their place.
When someone insults you, look him or her slowly up and down and come back with:
- “Have you always been this way?” (The person will be left wondering what you mean.)
- “Are you on medication for that?” Shake your head sadly.
- “By the way, I’ve heard of a program for people like you. It’s called Effective Communication Skills.”
- Give a pitying look and ask if you can get the person an aspirin.
- “Do you always mask insults with humor?” Wait for a response.
- Pat the person on the shoulder and say: “It’s obvious you are under stress. Is there anything I can do?”
- Mention an acquaintance of yours who is always putting others down and make the observation that people who do this obviously suffer from low self-esteem.
- Thank the person profusely for pointing out what’s wrong with you and lay it on thick until the person gets uncomfortable.
- Laugh (purposely misunderstand) and confide that you are going to tell all your friends about their silly remark.
- Give a big yawn and glance at your watch. (They see that their remark didn’t get a reaction.).
- “We are so alike in some ways, aren’t we?” (This is particularly effective if someone has made an insulting remark about your weight.).
- Ask the person to repeat what they just said. Then ask them to enlarge on it. Tell them you still don’t quite get it and keep asking for more details.
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Sorry, but those suggestions are crap. They might work if you’re 12, but I doubt it. They aren’t even actual ‘come backs’.
Real comebacks:
Save your breath, mate. You’ll need it for your inflatable doll when you get home.
Seriously, could you stop talking? Your breath smells like a skunk’s arse.
Is it true Frankenstein went to a party dressed up as you?
WHAT’S THAT DISGUSTING THING COMING OUT OF YOUR NECK!!? Oh.. It’s just your head.
- But practised comebacks only get you so far. You’ll do a lot better if you can take your opponent’s words apart by quick thinking. So practice with your friends!
Also, creativity is the key. Everyone has flaws and distinguishing features to focus on. The more you hit on things they don’t like about themselves, the harder it’ll be for them to counterattack. Make sure you, on the other hand, maintain a skin of stone. Make your nemesis feel like he’s banging his head off a brick wall, and he’s not even making a crack.
I’ve found these surprisingly effective.
I just looked at your picture… not only was I right about the geek comment… but my friend puked in her mouth a little. Nice work.
I’m not sure why others are commenting so negatively. I liked these ideas. I found them both humorous and quite possibly effective. I will give them a try. Thanks.
I’m a bully. These don’t work. Fact.
I think not!
These are pretty lame and half of them don’t make sense when you think about it. Some of them are cool and I guess would work but they sound like what my grandmother use to tell me to do. I find that thinking fast and ripping them apart till they cry is more effective but only to be used on those really worth the energy as it takes a lot of quick thinking.
Categorically saying that the work or don’t is stupid. Social interaction isn’t math.
While they’re talking stare off at something else, then when they are done, shake your head like coming out of a trance and say:
“whoa, I was trying so hard to care, that I didn’t hear what you just said”
Ask them to repeat it and do the same thing only this time say shake your head like usual and say:
“nope, sorry, I think that’s the most bored i’ve ever been listening to someone talk.”
combine with either 3 or 10 for maximum damage
They’re all weak. Why respond to a personal insult in any manner?
why even try to retort, if any comment bothers you enough to have to resort to a list of manufactured bs, strike out at the person with some form of violence, a kick in the nuts is far more effective than “i know you are, what am i?”
you got ripped so hard for writing this article.
sick burn.
on that ironic status too.
where’s your comeback for that?
At least you got comments. I’ve got nothing. I thought the comebacks were o.k. I’m not sure if I would take the time to think about one and use it. I think it’s all in natural reflex, because whatever the comeback is, it has to be real in order to be taken seriously.
I think the problem is that you feel the need to even have comebacks. I have to say, if you’re taking actual offense to so-called “insults,” it’s possibly time to either get new friends or grow some skin.
My all time fave (forgive the perverseness here folks)
(sigh and look kind of bummed out) I couldn’t possibly have any better comebacks for this especially since you seem to have all the good comebacks hanging from the corners of your lips
Were you insulted most of the time? But hey, thanks.
Ignore those nasty comments above – they’re just proving themselves to be horrifically immature by being so insulting, probably because they can’t write and wish that they could and while you’re a writer, they’re not.
I’ve never been one for comebacks. It’s better to stay silent. Why waste your energy and lower yourself to their level?
FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!
First time I’ve ever read anything from this writer. But I must say that some of these comments are telling. It makes me wonder if the responses in fact ARE effective because they’ve been used on some of you. Otherwise, it makes no sense to be so immature. If you don’t like the article – don’t post and move on.
Well, for each comment or observation posted is more money into the poster’s pocket.
Just something to consider.
Wolfe
I probably would’ve just given this a “thumbs down” on SU and moved on if not for all the comments posted already. I couldn’t resist!!
What doesn’t work about these comebacks is that they’re trite, tired, and completely unoriginal. People have been using these comebacks, and variations of them, so frequently and for so long that they’ve pretty much saturated the market, so to speak, with these phrases so they’re now 100% ineffective. There’s a time and a place for comebacks, but this group has seen its day.
And please spare me the “someone must’ve said one of these things to you” accusations. First off- that’s faulty logic. And in this case it also happens to be untrue. I don’t think I’ve *ever* heard anyone say any of these to me other than as a joke- kind of like when people share the cheesiest pick up lines they’ve ever heard. I’m just tired of an entire society regurgitating the same tired, pithy sayings over and over again. They’re just so prepackaged that they carry no real weight.
And #7’s pretty passive aggressive, no? If somebody used that- or any of these, really- on me, I would probably use a comeback of my own in response because all 10 of these are attacks masquerading as jokes. (See #5) They’re slimily, defensively combative in their own way. Say them and you’re asking for a comeback in return.
I work with a guy who says things like this list to his coworkers, even when nothing’s been said that anyone should take offense to. He’s just that kind of guy. And as a result he is, without a doubt, the least liked person at the company. I know that sounds a bit hyperbolic, but oh if only I could share examples without breaching my contract… Ugh.
Seriously: People need to stop saying things like what’s in the list above. They’re old. They’re ineffective. They’re poorly constructed and reasoned. Please start speaking for yourselves.
Oops– “all 12 of these,” that should’ve been. Durrrr
I like these because most, if not all, of these are responses that aren’t mean, just to show that the insult didn’t affect you.
hey…i like it, counter back insults with humor seems effective and number 12 surprisingly pure. Keep up
kudos to those that actually “got it.” If you were to answer back with ignorant or insulting remarks you would be just as bad as the tactless person making the insulting remarks. The whole point of the article is, as the saying goes: forewarned is forearmed.
Usually a bully will back off if put in his or her place. Why bother responding? Because insulting people seem to get a perverse pleasure out of surprising and overpowering others.
These combacks work. Bullies don’t back off if you turn a blind eye or fail to respond, they just view you as being easily overpowered, and use this as an opportunity to get even more insulting.
These are great comebacks. Sometimes in life it is just not appropriate to give a really foul mouthed, punch-in-the-guts or kick-in-the-nuts type of comeback.
That type of comeback cannot be used at all times to all people in all situations.
Sometimes the more subtle comebacks (like the ones in the article) are perfect and can be just as satisfying or even more satisfying than the gutter-mouthed type.
That kind of hard core comeback (like many above) is the comeback of the thug who does not have the class, decorum, dignity, vocabulary or wisdom to see that his insults are only demonstrating his acute lack of intelligence and lack of self-control.
Poor…
First of all, these comebacks are really quite poor. With some alterations they could be really great. For instance number 8 and number 12.
The rest are really quite dire.
To highlight some things about what ‘the art of war’ said who clearly doesn’t know anything about his name.
Tell me just where, this article makes use of ‘class, decorum, dignity, vocabulary or wisdom’ because in fact while being quite politically correct are really more suited for a ‘12′ year old funnily enough.
They also contain the standard of ’subtle’ that would be employed by a person like you; it seems.
The insults used by ‘thugs’ while being quite trite or tired rhetoric were once not rhetoric as they would not be so widely used now.
The best kind of insult would probably be the ones shot off by Winston Churchill.
For example; “You, madam are ugly.” He said when he was drunk to Lady Nancy Astor. Her reply was “You sir, are drunk!” Winston then merely replied by saying “Yes, but I’ll be sober in the morning.”
Anyway, that’s what I think about this article. This man is a genius, as he has created such interest in his article to generate revenue. Art of War clearly does not recognise this. Controversial = ka-ching.
I simply can’t understand why people can’t read an article and enjoy it. Is it too much to ask for? Poor, good or excellent, the writer invested time to write it. Now whether it was 5 minutes or an hour it does not matter.
Individuals just get on here to comment, stupid comments. If you think you can comment by saying “Poor article” or “These comebacks suck” then why don’t you write one and write it better? Of course, you can’t. You just know how to bring people down.
Now, constructive criticism is something that I really enjoy reading and I really appreciate people finding their time to write a meaningful critique. Take a look at Okenra’s comment and LEARN. Okenra commented, critiqued and also explained what could make this article better.
And to you, Athlyn it was a good article, I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work.
I want to thank everyone who took the time to comment. This whole thing has been illuminating, to say the least. The fact that the article invoked so much hostility shows me that I struck a nerve, possibly with the type of people who are put-down artists and who didn’t like that I had blown the whistle on their tactics and how to prepare yourself.
Others could see that subtle remarks are better because they are a form of deflection, where the person who has launched the insult now has to try to figure out if he or she has been insulted.
I had a landlord who was always throwing his weight around and who made my life hell–and it was only getting worse as time went on. Finally, I thought: enough. The next time he tried his strong-arm tactics, I used # 6, the stress remark. He got really upset, denying he was stressed and gave me an appraising look. The bullying stopped. I had another relative who was always making nasty remarks and I used # 2, are you one medication . . . After that, she steered clear. The funny thing is that she did end up having to go on medication. She was a toxic person.
And yet, they can’t help themselves can they Athlyn? This is a sign of a good article and good writing technique.
Well done.
Wolfe
Thank you, Wolfe. Yes, the article certainly sparked controversy. It’s been an interesting study in human psychology. The hostility only reinforces for me that some people take pleasure in downgrading others. When you think about it, it all boils down to control–same scenario with the driver who rides your tail and tries to intimidate you or makes threatening gestures.
Well, they were alright.
I usually just cry.
Hey read your article…those comebacks arent that great but theyre okay.When im giving a comeback I usally say something based on wit and what the other person said..usually funny comebacks that make the croud laugh..nice try though =D
Great job! I love your skills! You should give a course on putting the put down, down! Thanks.
I like your ideas. So often I think of comebacks too late. It’s good to be prepared.
Thanks again, everyone, for your comments–especially KDs and Betty Jane’s. This was the point of the article, being prepared so that put-down artists don’t bully others.
Does nobody monitor these comments? The continual use of the ‘f’ word in all its permutations shows that those commenting are really not qualified to do so. The point of comments is to offer constructive criticism, not abuse. OK, Athlyn’s put downs may not be brand spanking new, but they stand the test of time. At least she can craft an article, which is more than the so-called commentators can lay claim to.
thought that the comments in this article were lame but a good try at least.with abit more research it would of been good hope your next one is top…………
for those who of you who dont have anything better to do than call names get a life!!!!!!!!!
Thanks again for more insightful comments. Since I’ve implemeted these comebacks, I’ve found that I am rarely insulted. I think zowocomarketing raises a good point. When your mental attitude changes, others pick up on it and are less likely to try underhanded tactics on you.
In the end, it is about self-empowerment. If you don’t like the way you are treated, find something that works and put it into practice to change matters.
It’s about valuing yourself enough to not permit unacceptable behavior to be directed towards you.
We are only victimized the first time. If we allow it to continue, we are givng permission to the abuser to keep on doing what he or she is doing. Enabling them, as it were, and giving them power over us.
I am shocked at some of the comments here. Why do people feel the need to stop and type such abusive and sensless sentences?
This article is not a serious one, it was meant to be funny, light-hearted, and tongue-in-cheek. Any person with a bit of sense would see that it was not written as a list of instructions.
I find that a lot of web users are sadly laking in a sense of humour.
Good job Athlyn, you could toggle some of these comments and bin them as spam from your end, but I suppose you’re leaving them here just to demonstrate how petty people can be.
These comments are a sad indication of where the human race is headed. Sometimes there’s not much that separates humans from animals. Some of these comments are like the fourth grade. On the bright side, you are on the Hot Content list, and getting views (hopefully revenue too).
Hi Anne,
Yes, I’ve left he comments here to prove my contention that people who make insulting remarks get a perverse pleasure out of downgrading others–and certainly the reactions demonstrate that I touched a big nerve. That’s a victory for all of us who are secure enough that we don’t have to tear down others to build ourselves up.
I agree with Dave. Your suggestions are crap. They would not even make anyone cringe. Even kids would not use these things for a come back. They will just be insulted more if they actually use it. I suggest you research some more or hang out more with bullies anb be insulted to master the craft more
Hello Dave,
It’s obvious you haven’t read through previous posts. I’ve used all of these and found them particularly effective–there’s nothing like wit and subtle innuendo, which leaves the person wondering if they have been insulted; however, if you are more comfortable using alternate methods, than go for it. If you are going to comment please clean it up a little.
Athlyn speaks the truth … apparently. Talk about stirring the hornet’s nest.
Wolfe
I can’t believe anyone actually thinks these are good comebacks!
Seriously, I am completely discombobulated!
Even my grandma could come out with better comebacks than these!
When you say you’ve used these before and they’ve been successful, do you mean that the person stopped talking because they were laughing too hard at how pathetic what you just said was? Because that’s the only plausable explanation, unless you live at a home for disabled animals.
How can anyone comment that this is good writing? Did you actually read it before commenting? Have you ever read anything else? It’s just a series of numbered sentences with no rhetoric, relevance or guile.
If you want to win a challenge of wits or ‘beat the bully’, or whatever you wanna call it, you need to use your intelligence, not spout off a completely irrelevant and peurile attempt to confuse your opponent. The only reason they’ll shut up is because they’ll have no idea what you’re doing because what you said was entirely irrelevant and didn’t make any sense. And everyone else in the room will be thinking exactly the same thing, whilst looking at each other with bemused expressions, thinking ‘… what?’.
Seriously, imagine you had some reason to confront somebody, perhaps for doing something that you strongly disagreed with, and in your anger produced a few insults. Then the person turns to you and completely irrelevantly pulls “… do you need medication for that?” out of his arse, would you then think – Oh no! I’ve been outwitted and humiliated in front of all my friends!, or would you think – … What?… What has medication got to do with anything?… You’re not even actually saying anything about me… Is there something wrong with you?… Did your doctor accidentally replace your brain with a baked potato?
Furthermore (I’m aware this is becoming a rant), any shock value that these comebacks might have (they’re shocking because they’re so bad) is completely negated by the fact that they’re so easy to obliterate.
You: Have you always been this way?
Opponent: What way? Bored out of my mind? Not till I started talking to you. Have you always smelled like a dead badger?
You: I’ve heard of a program for people like you. It’s called effective communication.
Opponent: Well, I’ve heard of a program for people like you. It’s called “How to stop being an absolute _insert word(s) here_”
You: Can I get you an aspirin?…
Opponent: If you’re going to keep talking, then yeah, I think I’ll need one.
You: You seem stressed. Is there anything I can do?
Opponent: Yes. (The possibilities are endless here).
Bottom line is, none of these responses are going to earn you anyone’s respect. Mostly because they aren’t humorous or meaningful in any way. They aren’t new, ingenious, or intelligent. They’re easy. Simple. Senseless.
Use these on a bully, and it’ll only make them want to bully you even more for being so annoying, and clearly showing that you’re incapable of coming up with a genuine situational retort.
Hello Dave,
I can see I’ve struck a nerve. What you’ve failed to understand is that put-down artists are very adept at reading subtle innuendo–after all they are masters at it. They use hints, so-called humor, and disparaging remarks designed to derail others’ confidence and they are very quick to pick up on a “red flag” such as: Have you always been this way? They know damn well that you are disparaging them and, as I stated at the beginning of my article, will be left wondering what you mean. But, rest assured, they know that this is a “gotcha” moment. Same with the “Are you on medication for that?” remark. This hits home like an arrow, going to the very core of their aggression and anger. They will suspect that you are referring to a mental illness.
Keep in mind that this wasn’t a scientific paper, simply strategies to deflect disparaging remarks back at bullies.
And Dave, if you are still upset, perhaps consider some medication for that. Grin.
Hi Wolfe,
Thanks for your insightful comments. When can we go out for dinner? Grin.
Wolfe
well i thought they were cool so thanx Purpleslinky
I found these very amusing and extremely efective thanks sssssssssoooooo much!!!!!!!!!!! Keep up the awesome work!!!!
Hi AW,
Yup, these are great and have worked each time I’ve used them. Nothing like retuning the favor when someone counts on catching you off guard.
I got such a chuckle over the animosity this article provoked–of course, we know just who felt uncomfortable.
Thanks, Tesh.
I thank you Athlyn for writing this article. My sister’s sister-in-law was just enjoying so much that she is in control of how I feel. I feel flustered and hurt by her comment but I still tried to cover up my hurt feeling with a faint smile. She is at least 10 years older than me and is a talkative type while I am more reserved.
So I quietly walk and retreat upstairs away from her presence. She notices that she has an effect on me and said the comment even LOUDER while I walk away. I admire people who have more thick-skin than me because I feel like a turtle with a shell in this people world.
Although she left already, the hurting-effect is still strong and I feel powerless. I feel so happy that I found your article! Thank you for the advice for this very thin-skinned girl.
Hello, Quiet Pain,
My heart went out to you reading your words. I think it all boils down to control. Some people are somehow lacking and they take a perverse pleasure out of trying to manipulate others’ feelings. And, they count on the element of surprise, which usually leaves gentler people speechless.
Memorize a couple of these and take that control back. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel when you stand up for yourself. You are worth it.
And, I’ll bet the sister-in-law will be surprised and back off.
I’m in your corner!
epic epic fail, if you encounter a bully, punch them in the nose, their eyes get all teary so you can either finnish them off or, if you are a total wuss, you can run away, you wussy.
Hello Skye,
Thank you for your enlightening insights into the world of bullying others. I’m sure certain readers will take your remarks to heart, choosing the “direct approach” over subtle methods. Acting without thinking is always the easier route, isn’t it?
Hey I’m not the one gettin bullied
ya im sure ur not the one getting bullied ther SKYE RIGHT im sure u look like the kind of guy who would get thrown in the garbage can! DUH i went there
those 12 combacs suck!
really Athlyn Green u need to get better comebacks ur self cause it aint looking good for u later on in life if u use those i didnt even try to use those and idk if i wanna im gunna stick to my own from now on cause urs SUCK@
It seems we have two camps, those who opt for physical violence or downright nastiness and those who prefer the subtle approach, which involves actual thought processes.
Hey “Pop princess” first off thank you for going there, you reject. I am a girl, you dim wit and I have never been in a fight for the simple fact that I am comfortable enough to stand up for myself, I feel no need for for comebacks, they are used by people who fear what others think, which is rediculous, because if if you have lived you life for what others think, then you died a long time ago. But seriously Britany, what comeback did you use when people made fun of you for shaving your head??
I agree with some of the posters here in that I don’t think these are the best options for dealing with a bully – like one individual mentioned above, some of these tend to come off as “snarky” or looking for trouble.
I think one of the best things that you can do when you are in a situation where you are being bullied (and this is from personal experience) is very plainly tell the bully to stop. This works best if there are others in the vicinity. You’d be amazed how quickly a bully falls back on themself when you look them in the eye and tell them, “I know what you are doing. Your behavior is inappropriate and rude and you need to stop.” If they don’t, walk away.
Don’t get confrontational, because attention and reaction is what feeds a bully’s desire to harass. The problem I see with Athlyn’s comebacks is that they incite the bully – they “up the ante”.
I think that in a group of friends or people who know each other fairly well, these more light-hearted comebacks could work. However, I think in most situations, these will escalate the tension level and invite more bullying.
Still – good article and good debate. I think bullying is a problem, especially for children and adolescents, that often gets ignored and really deserves more of our attention in light of some of the recent incidents we’ve seen in the news (such as the girl bullying video that ended up on YouTube). Athlyn, way to bring up a really important and on-topic subject!
Hi Lola,
Thank you for your great comments. I couldn’t agree more: a bullying person will back off in a hurry when you call them to account. I think the main thing is to not enable or allow their behavior because this only makes them bolder.
Your comments about bullying of children/adolescents is on target, too. School violence is a real concern these days.
It saddens me that in modern times, people still show cruelty to others. What they could possibly gain by it is beyond comprehension. I always figure that is must be some lack in themselves–a void they are trying to fill somehow.
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Hi Peeps!
Heres a great comeback, ” Oh were you talking sorry I didn’t notice, By the way ur face is to ugly go put it in the toilet, that would be muck better.”
These comeback really do suck.
They may work for younger kids.
Society has changed, you need hardcore comebacks.
You have to break their confidence, then crush them.
I would rather leave someone wondering whether they have been insulted. Far more subtle yet effective.
heres a good one ,when you can’t think of a comeback just say IF I WANTED TO HERE FROM AN ARSE HOLE I WOULD OF FARTED. or if they call you a w**ker just say at least ive got something to w*nk on. also are you posessed………by a retard.
these comebacks are too soft, even for someone like me who doesn’t like to sound mean. these just wouldn’t work. you need to come back with something completely witty, origional and out of the blue to stay in the game. these are too average.
I appreciate all the feedback. I think what works for one person may not work for another. There are other factors at work: how confident you are, your style of delivery, how quick you are on the draw.
The main point of this article is that when someone insults you, you need to stand up for yourself, over allowing someone to walk all over you. Standing up for oneself is critical to self-confidence. If you value yourself enough to stand up for yourself, you send a message that you aren’t an easy target.
I always find that a punch in the mouth is a breath saver
I say use the jerk store comeback
……….ZZZZZZZZZZ….ZZZZZZZZZZZZ oh! uh, did you say something? sorry but your comebacks put me to sleep. Newsflash THEY’RE BORING!!!!
The bully would just smash your face into the ground and rip off your bodyparts.
Depends on the bully. It seems this article has rubbed certain people the wrong way. Hmm . . . wonder why it elicited such a charged response? A psychologist would have a field day.
I’m not trying to disrespect you, but I think these insults would be very ineffective. Yes, the point of having comebacks is to stand up to a bully, but also to impress others around. These insults are very unimpressive, and have that annoying “I know you are, but what am I?” feel to them.
This has been an interesting experience. Out of all my articles, this one sparked the most controversy.
It either struck a chord or touched a nerve with many people.
It “elicited such a charged response” because you talk to people like you’re a guest star on Frasier.
Hint: that’s also why your comebacks are lame.
You’re not gonna win an insult battle with “Oh I’m sorry sir, you must be at the wrong house. The IGNORAMUS PARTY is three doors down!”
I mean come on. The comebacks sound like they’re from the 40s or something
lol at Dave (post 47)… he’s got your number
Hi Booya,
The point of this article is that one doesn’t have to stoop to the level of the person launching insulting remarks.
I stand by the subtle approach. As my sister once said, she always liked to leave someone wondering if they had been zinged . . . or not.
You know, I can’t help but think that the only person who would spend time making a list like this is someone who constantly finds themselves having to defend against taunts and insults.
My advice? Go back to the drawing board and come up with a better list…
And don’t forget… sometimes confusing someone by insulting yourself can shut the “insultor” up right quick…
Insultor: “Nice face, ugly.”
You: *feeling back of pants* “Oh Christ, I think just soiled myself.”
Insultor: “Nice shirt, where’d ya get it? Zellers?”
You: “My same sex partner bought it for me. Thank you very much!”
Hi Brad,
Actually, it has been just the opposite. Previously, if I came into contact with an insulting person, I was at a loss for words–and their bad behavior just continued, because they could get away with it.(It’s a power play, after all.)
Once I memorized a few come-backs, all bullying stopped.
I got a chuckle out of your last two ideas–a different approach but one that would be effective, I’d think.
I like the concept of confusing a bullying person because then you’ve changed the focus of the interchange. Instead of reacting to the insulting remark (which is what the bully wants you to do), the bully is forced to wonder if the tables have been turned on him–which completely unravels his objective: launching a remark that pushes your emotional buttons.
You emerge the victor becaue you’ve taken control of the situation.
Quite honestly most would not be able to grasp your goodness of heart in this article by the comments of most above me. Good you got some readership. I simply make believe I did not hear them so they have to repeat it, repeat it and then , well you get the idea of how I handle that .
That’s an excellent tactic, similar to #12.
Yeah, none of these actually work. They just make you look stupid.
Hi Guy,
Maybe you could enlighten the rest of us as to the most effective approach to take? I’m sure, with your obvious wisdom, you’ll come up with something.
These ‘comebacks’ are epic phail. It’s just like if someone who wants to fornicate with you says “Come on what are you afraid of” and you say “Aids, herpes, pregnancy, etc”. It just makes you look like a total geek, and these comebacks are out of a cheaply written Health book.
THESE ARE ALL GOOD KOMBAKS I TRIED THEM< THEY WORKED
OMG….i had a kick out of reading this article and all the comments people….(oppiniated folks) had to say…of course we all have a different way of understanding…hee…hee! i like these comebacks their interesting!!! (for reals!) and what i really loved is that Athlyn kept her cool thru out the whole…..controversy! i could pretty much relate myself to the way she thinks??? Hey after all you gave them something to talk about!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Sara,
This has been a most interesting experience. I’ve enjoyed all the comments.
One commenter in particular had me chuckling. Even though his remarks were derogatory, he had such a humorous way of writing that I had to read them for sheer enjoyment. My thanks to Dave, #47, for his sardonic approach.
I also enjoyed The Art of War, #25
As well, Wolfe offered some perceptive insights.
thankyou i will be sure to use thease
Hi Michelle,
As you no doubt saw, we have two camps: those who like the bullying, insulting approach and those who favor the subtle methods outlined here.
What’s interesting is that those who enjoy bullying tried to do some of it here.
MY friend erin goes up to someone and says ur mean or something. Then that person says: “oh yeah you make ugly betty look good!”
These r ok
HELP ME….. the thing with me is that im a very kind and pretty person but ppl keep on hating, and i dont want to bring the big guns ( my 6.8 brother) out. i want a good come back to leave them silent in shock, or makem say oooooooh for 5 minuets,,,,,,,,,,, do u comprenda?
Use the come-backs in this article. They work.
Were so bad were looking at combacks c’mon guys!
It helps to be prepared. An insult usually catches you by surprise and then you are at a loss for words–which gives a bullying person an advantage and accomplishes just what was intended. This article offers come-backs so that you take back control of the situation and stand up for yourself.
Some feel, why bother? Perhaps if you stand up to an insulting person, he/she will think twice about insulting someone else.
i just had to say something to number 63 skye– um you say you dont feel like you ever had a need for comebacks or that your not the one being bullied yet here you are reading a list of comebacks??? why? just wondering
and Dave #47– this isn’t the time and place for D*ck measuring–write your own damn article (sorry Athlyn, im not insinuating you have a d____.)
SlimShady– um i believe it’s fail
oh and 83 Brad– i believe you read the article son…my question is why? if you arnt subjected to so called “bullying”?? or maybe it’s because you too along with Dave search the internet for articles and blogs to put people down and (like Dave) do some of your own D*ck measuring (sorry everyone else about my poor use of the language, but it gets my point across)
In case you didnt get what Athlyn was trying to say….try reading her posts again outloud and slowly. Maybe that will help. She, unlike most of you, is going for the more subtle retorts instead of stooping to their level. So if you dont like the subtle approach simply go back to google and search from another comeback/insult blog that suits your fancy. For those of you who are d*ck measureing—maybe measuring in milimeters will make you feel better.
Hi Seriously,
I was chuckling as I read your last line. Thanks for the support and the great comeback you used.
yeah no prob. i was just so annoyed with some of the comments. I mean it’s one thing if you disagree but thats totally different from what some of these people are saying. I mean why do people have to be so rude and sarcastic? What ever happened to agreeing to disagree. Or making suggestions to what you think could make these even better or something. But…saying things like “your an idiot” or “these suck”…it’s like the most pointless comments ever.
Those are very good! The difference btw ur comebacks and the negative comments ur getting is that this list is meant for adults with any degree of maturity about them while the negative commentors are childish and immature and these remarks won’t cut them and insult them the way it would to an intelligent person with an IQ higher than they’re shoe size. Looks like you’ve got quite the range of readers!!! LOL!!! At least it’s easy to weed them out when they make it so obvious!! Kudos.
Thanks for your comments.
What this article has proven is that there are people out there that seem to get perverse pleasure out of insulting someone else. I can only wonder at the forces that have shaped their thinking.
these are actually insulting comebackss??? cmon?
them-dude ur pants are huge
you-are they yours??
them-no
you-cuz i think they are since u are hugeeeeee
now thts a burrrnnnnnnnnnnn
orrrrr
dont make me snap my fingers in a z formation!!! exlimation!! triple underline triple underlinee!
rocks rocks waterfall hope u fall ina hole! so blow of wit dat attitude blow blow chooo choo train i do my thang! so peace love punch! dnt make me kick ur butt!!!
now dat ones goooooooooodddd!!!!!!
I see how these could be very effective, good information.
Athlyn please don’t take what these people say to heart. I mean seriously. Look at the situation. The people who are trying to put you down are the ones who also read your material looking for answers. Hmm… Now if I’m correct, that would mean that the bullied are actually the wannabe bullies. THEY are the ones who are insecure and are trying to put others down, mainly you, to compensate for their troubles. I also find your 12 points most informative. If anyone bad-mouths this post, they are only proving my point. I was bullied at school, I know these things too well. Thank you
ALSO… GO RED SOX!!
Wow i nevr thout of it that way. ok ill try thees. thx
pfft
Well, I have to say, writing When Someone Insults You: 12 Neat Come-backs has been so interesting! Insulting behavior and put-downs have a long history and show the desire of the bullying individual to humiliate another. It’s a definite power play with a victor (villain) and a victim. Most bullies count on the element of surprise, similar to shooting someone when their back is turned–which really shows how cowardly a bullying person really is.
What I find interesting is the need to bully. What’s the underlying psychology? Why would a person derive pleasure in belittling another? It must be that the bullying individual has some deficit and is seeking a way to convince himself/herself that he/she is superior.
Truly confident people do not need to insult someone else in order to feel good.
yo dawg dez kumbacks suk!
……..
Anyway… the psychology of bullying has always interested me.
Bullies seek to create an emotional response in the victim. I just DON’T LET them do that! You don’t ignore them, you just don’t get insulted.
I won’t comment on the list because I wouldn’t want to “can” any comebacks… they should be on the spur of the moment.
Hello Vertjaars,
While come-backs can be spur of the moment, this only works for someone who can react when surprised; for others, being prepared with a few well-chosen responses to insults works far better.
I find that ignoring a bullying person only gives them the impression you are an easy target, which leads to future efforts to belittle you.
A well prepared come-back shows a bullying person that you aren’t easily intimidated and aren’t afraid to tackle them on a psychological level. In almost all cases, an insulting person will back off if you take charge of the situation.
A bullying person is looking for an easy mark, basically someone who is “smaller” (psychologically) than them; they rarely pick on someone their own “size” (someone who gives it right back).
I have another peoblem.When i go to my country or when i am sitting somewhere in a party,then my aunties tell me”anna,you got a llot of pimples on your forehead,you hsouldnt eat a lot of sweets etc.” and when they say that , i get kinda angry and annoyed because they just pretend to be very caring.Any solutions ?I mean some comebacks which doesnt insult them in a very rude way.:) Like insults them badly but not in a rude way.
Hi Anna,
I would say, “yes, unfortunately, we have the same skin.” Or, “Yes, and I have you guys to thank for my skin.”
Or, you could say, “Yes, pimples and lack of tact seem to run in the family.”
Another approach is to simply talk to them when you are alone with them and say, ” Would you please not bring up my pimples in front of other people? It’s embarrassing.” This will only work if they are unaware of what they are doing.
If they are aware, another tactic is to say ” Have you always been this way?” When they ask what you mean, answer “tactless.”
Still another approach is to turn the tables: find something about them and when they mention your skin, say, in a loud voice, something like: “You look so much heavier since the last time I saw you.” or “Are you dieting now? Man, I would try a different diet plan.”
Actually, I will respectfully disagree.
I use to think that it wasn’t worth my time to respond to an insulting person–but I found that this seemed to give these types of people a license to become even more abusive and insulting. I believe that bullies pick on those they perceive as weak.
As well, a person should value themselves enough to defend themselves. I think self esteem demands it.
It’s a sad refllction on society that simple reason doesn’t work on unreasonable individuals. They seem to operate from a more primitive basis and seem to only understand a power play.
Okay, I read halfway through the comments and I had to skip the rest and just respond, as I am pressed for time at the moment. Athlyn, I admire the message you have behind this post, that you need to stand up for yourself in the face of a “put-down artist”. However, the actual messages, I have to say, would be very ineffective in today’s society with most put-down artists. I am one of the unfortunates that grew up being the subject of verbal attacks. As a result I grew some pretty thick skin, and now normally joke around with my co-workers and friends using basic, sometimes crude, putdowns. The biggest thing to note is that most put-down artists prefer to operate in a group environment, so that others my see their triumph over the weaker person, and thrive on the shock, awe or laughter that they will receive from putting others down. The thing is, most of these comebacks will not stir up a favorable response from this same crowd, which is essential in a comeback in order to throughly embarass the “artist” into not bothering you any more. In addition, many of the skilled “put-down artists” tend to be very witty and intelligent nowadays, at least the ones I tend to encounter. As a result, these comebacks will be viewed as “simple” and will merely encourage more harassment from the artist’s side, due to the fact that these comebacks come across as a bit outdated or uncreative. To say that you are blowing the whistle on a bully’s tactics and showing how to prepare yourself is a bit extreme, but I think your general idea does accomplish the latter part of that statement. Unfortunately, most put-down artists nowadays would laugh at what they view as a feeble attempt to defend yourself. I suppose you could compare it to bringing a knife to a gun fight. Valiant effort, and yes, you are trying to defend yourself, but the arsenal is merely lacking in it’s effectiveness. You may be able to cut your assailant a few times, but ultimately he will get 2 or 3 shots in and you are done for.
That being said (I had to stop myself from going on), I do admire the idea behind your post. People do need to start standing up for themselves. Take it from someone that has been there and gotten past it. Honestly, comebacks have to come from the person being insulted, and should be tailored to suit the so-called bully. Say what you want to say, be confident, and don’t be afraid. Call him out, however it may be. Overall, thumbs up on the post.
Hello Ryan,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. and I agree, bullying, if ignored, does not go away. It’s a sad comment on society that someone would actually enjoy belittling another.
wtf they are the worst cum baks in da world im sorry but if u carnt do better than dat then dnt botter!!!!!! if u try and use these cum baks then ur jst gonna get ripped evan more. i cum from an rought place n if u want to rip sum 1 den just focus n der week spot it will make then feel bad and get them worked up and they will get them ova worked and then they wont get there words out. but if u wanna use these cum baks then do it but dont go cryin 2 ya mum wen it goes wrong xx luv yaz all (if u dnt use those cum baks
) xx
Hi Jodie,
Thank you for you comments. I think you make a valid point. The type of come-backs and whether or not they work, depends on those you are dealing with and their particular mindset.
I’ve used these effectively but I was dealing with different types of people from what you and readers may be used to.
Why post such things? You see I am a christian and I beleive if someone insults you, Just let it go or walk away, dont start a war.
But they were prety funny.
Hi Tyler,
Turning the other cheek doesn’t work with abusive individuals. They perceive this as weakness and use it to further try to humiliate you.
There’s a saying that is particularly apt: reason only works with someone who is reasonable.
Ignoring an abusive person’s behavior or trying kindness is ineffective because these individuals seem to only understand a power play.
nothing works 4 me…
i am born to get bullied and fail everywere……
these worked for me, i get bullied a lot and i particularly enjoy using #3 it can be very effective and usually leaves them with a blank stare and speechless
Yes, if you can leave them not really sure what you mean, you have deflated them.
Nice.
The bride of frankenstien called she wants her hair back
Thank you so much. These are just what I need to retort to the harassing predators after me day and night. I appreciate these greatly. And if you think they suck- why comment on it? Just move on and continue with your day, unless you’re all so pathetic that you just can’t find anything else to do but insult people; for you i give no time of my life.
Hi Alex,
Thanks for your kind comments and I hope these help.
“Someone’s on their cycle…” Especially effective if they are male
Thx for the help. i liked the last 1. im gonna try this on this 1 grl at my school. i cant take anymore of her crap. she gets on my effin nerves. she gets on everybodys nerves. she never does her work and she tries 2 get sum1 2 do it 4 her but nobody ever does. its a pitty. im gonna try 2 learn some fighting skills if she tries to swing a punch at me. ive been here on my computer looking 4 good comebacks 4 about an hour now and i hope it pays off. here r some comebacks i got from other websites:
-Yeah, yeah, keep talking, someday you might say something smart.
-Shouldn’t you have a license for being that ugly?
-Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
-You should learn from your parents mistakes – try using some birth control.
-Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
-If i had a dog and i was as ugly as you, i’d shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards.
-I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job……i’d say no cause there is other people uglier than me and that is you!
-Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just trying your best today to epress me? Well it aint workn!
—P.S.— to the people who run this website… i dont want u 2 send me anything because if i give companies my e-mail, they send too much stuff and gets my inbox full. it is already filled with facebook and myspace stuff. im sorry, but just dont send anything.
I think it was ok but i don’t think it will work and for BREWER you should be ashamed of yourself