Suppose you were someone who has the authority to say whether a certain invention can go ahead or not. In this case, a compost toilet (called the “wormorator”) designed by a man in New Zealand called Coll Bell. It was his alternative to a septic tank. (For those unfamiliar with New Zealand parlance, a septic tank is a large tank in the ground where all the stuff from your toilet goes.)

And suppose you are a conscientious, environmentally-aware sort of person from the Auckland Regional Council who wants to do the best for the earth and the future of humanity.

I think we’d expect that if you were such a person you’d encourage anyone who could come up with good ideas to help the planet rather than discourage them. After all, a compost toilet takes human waste matter and turns it back into material that can be used to fertilise the soil. The liquid is leeched off and turned into a wet fertiliser. The whole thing saves the excrement from being dumped into a chemical system where, at great expense, it’s eventually turned into something that might be of use.

Furthermore, a compost toilet means that the whole process is dealt with in-house, as it were. Or rather, in a system built under the house.

I’m sure you’d agree that as a conscientious, environmentally-aware sort of person you’d give the go-ahead to the inventor and tell the world what a good idea it was.

Well, maybe not.

The person in New Zealand who had this task decided that she’d come up with a much more environmentally-aware suggestion before she’d give approval. She insisted that the inventor prove that the worms who would be doing the composting wouldn’t be psychologically harmed in having to work with human poo.

I imagine that the inventor went away scratching his head, and feeling more than a little irritated at such a proposal. After all, who on earth would be able to tell whether a worm was psychologically upset at being involved in such proceedings?

Well, like it or not, the inventor had to find someone. In the end a vermiculture consultant (did you know there were such people?) was called in. Vermiculture, as

I’m sure you’re aware, is the study of worms.

The vermiculture consultant checked out the worms, found they were exceedingly happy, and were breeding as fast as worms normally do.

The great thing about worms, as I’m sure you’ll also know, is that they can be male or female as the occasion demands. None of this searching for a mate of the opposite sex and being turned down or dumped by the female in the vermicultural arena. Nope. If another worm comes along (and in decent compost they will) you just get it on together, at some point making a decision about whether you want to be the bloke or the other does. (Would humans have been better made this way? It’s an interesting point.)

To give the ARC person her due, she was (a) new, and (b) concerned that the wormorator was going to be used at a camping site where there was heavy usage for two weeks of the year, and much less for the rest. Seems to me that would have given the worms plenty of time to sort the stuff out.

Anyway, it appears to have all ended happily, for the inventor, the ARC and the worms. Let’s hope some other piece of lateral thinking doesn’t get in the way of progress.