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Why I Hate Thanksgiving
I’ve never truly grown to appreciate Turkey Day. Maybe after reading this everyone will leave me alone and try not to cheer me up on one of the worst days of the year.
As it gets closer to that time of year when we all start to think about pumpkins, pilgrims, football, and turkey; it is more than abundantly clear that some of us have more to be thankful for than others this holiday season. So without further ado…
Here is why I hate Thanksgiving…
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In my mid-twenties I’m still one of the youngest family members at granny’s house and am forced to sit at the children’s table. (away from the TV and the football game) I spend most of my meal fighting over sippy-cups and being called a poop-head.
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Beans are usually served; I have a large (weight-wise) family. Enough said about that.
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In her old age granny is starting to forget some things. One of these things is to take out the special bag of bits that comes with every turkey you buy at the store. By the time the platter gets round to me all that is left is something more akin to fish bait than food.
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Canned Cranberries. Seriously, what is the deal with canned cranberries? They’re just creepy. Is it a scented candle that fell over? Jell-O in a Jell-O mold? Frozen blood? Just get out of here with that stuff.
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Baxter, granny’s dog, hasn’t been neutered. Granny’s dog is in love with my leg.
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I am a Detroit Lions fan.
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Everyone in my family knows I am a Detroit Lions fan.
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The Detroit Lions suck by the way, and are usually on television only one time a year. On Thanksgiving. I am petitioning to get Thanksgiving Day called Detroit Lions Lose Day. It is a tradition I think all of us could embrace more fully.
Happy Thanksgiving you pumpkin pie-eating idiots!
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12 Comments
lol…all the things you hate about Thanksgiving now, one day you will cherish there memories…Happy Thanksgiving or should I say Happy Detroit Lions Day!!!!!
my condolences…
Oh no, its Detroit Lions Lose Day, get it right. If it was Detroit Lions Day we’d have to celebrate the team itself. What is there to celebrate? The playoff apperance they made ten years ago? Whereas if it is Detroit Lions Lose Day we can actually celebrate something they are good at…losing. Ugh.
I hate thanksgiving because at work I’m working 35 hours and still have school, plus making over 700 pies is no fun:(
yep thats enough to make a person to hate any holiday. i wish for you to spend the day in front of the tv with the biggest, best turkey breast there is….and silence. no stinkin kids.
I prefer drumsticks actually.
It seems to me that you just need a change of scenery to make your Thanksgiving Day a good memory instead of the horrible nightmare you talk about. Try something new this holiday. Tell your family that you just can’t make it, or don’t stay long. As far as your granny, cherish her. She won’t be with you long and then you will miss her like I do mine. Life is shorter than you think. One day you will be her age. Would you want your family to think of the holiday at your house then, like you do hers now? The only one who can make it better is you. You make you happy. No one else knows what it is that you want but you. So, it is up to you to make your own holiday better. Give it a try! Life is too short to spend it being miserable. Good luck.
I can’t stand this holiday. Thankfully I moved across the country and have a great excuese to not have to meet up with family. The thought of an entire day sitting around with a bunch of half wits who are all drinking cheap beer and eatting as much as they can while watching football just makes my head spin.
I all ready ranted about this today, I’m just looking for other peoples rants about this stupid “holiday”; I hate thanksgiving
Hey…they may be in different ball leagues but the Detroit Lions’ fans can’t hold a candle to the fans who have remained loyal to the Boston Red Socks for all the years…and years…and years of losing game…after game…after game…
Yo…urbn…you can move anywhere you want to stay away from the “bunch of half wits” you call family. But their DNA GOES WITH YOU! Ha ha.
Schaller…I hope you listen to Rebecca because she’s right. I would give anything to be able to go back in time just once in order to be with loved ones who are no longer around to be able to sit at my table.
Remember…Thanksgiving only comes once a year (Thank God) so make an appearance, opinionate a bit (family members LOVE a good arguement), don’t eat the cranberry sauce, let your parents and Granny know that you love them, and leave early!
Personally, I’d rather endure a Thanksgiving Day with my weird relatives than to be at one of their funerals filled with “I should have…” regrets.
Just a thought…
This is hilarious and I am with you on the thanksgiving blues. I usually skip right over it and start on Christmas decoration on November 1st
I hate thanksgiving as well. But not for those reasons. The big reason is because we are celebrating the slaughter of a entire Indian nation. The other is because my whole family is in other states, and all my friends are with their families. Makes me remember just how alone I am. Blah Blah I just plan on getn jack and getn drunk!!
Very funny——well I don’t mean to make jest of your Thanksgiving tragedy but its very funny——-perhaps you should find another way to spend the Turkey day—–for me that day is sad because I like to dance –the clubs and lounges are usually pumping around where I live but my mother prohibits me to spend such a day in the streets—–I’m old enough to defy her— but –who can defy the matriarch?