If you are like me, and you have long hair, you will have realized the benefits of growing your hair. These benefits are greatly better than the benefits of short hair, and just to try and convince some more of those short-haired people, I will tell you of the great and wondrous joys it can bring.

1. You can have a pet. Head-butt a nearby airborne bug and it will get lost in the mess of hair on your scalp. Head-butt several and you can have an entire colony. No more pesky vets’ bills or buying food, as they can feed on the blood from your head.
2. No more getting beaten up for our long haired protagonist! Big nasty men will think you are a woman, and instead of beating you up for your drink, they’ll buy you one
3. You can play with your hair! Haven’t you ever wondered how a woman feels when she plays with her hair? How can it bring her such amusement, such delight, when it’s just hair? Well, find out for yourself! Grow those luscious locks, and experience the simple joys playing with them brings
4. Hide your face and be the “mysterious man”. Chicks dig that kinda crap right? Well, if you grow your hair you can hide your face, and be all mysterious and such like. I read somewhere on the internet’s that women LOVE mysterious guys, so it must be true.
5. Make the most out of bed hair. Apparently it’s coming back into style, bed hair. And what better way to get back into style other than grow your hair, go to sleep, and don’t brush it in the morning? Short haired people can’t make use of this new style, since short hair isn’t long enough to be messed up enough to earn the title “bed hair”.
6. An excuse to get out of work. “Sorry, my hair got caught in the hair dryer.” “Gee, I’d come into work again, but I was fixing my Xbox and my hair got caught in the fan, again.” You know the drill, find some original ones.
7. Be cool and rad. All cool guys have long hair right? Or has T.V. been lying to me? Nah, all cool guys have long hair. You wanna be a cool guy don’t you?
8. The shaggy dog. When it rains, and your hair gets all soaking wet, don’t you just want to shake it and get everybody else soaking wet? I know I do. Once you do it, they may hate your guts, but at least you had FUN.
9. You can have a pony tail. Just like every other mid-life crisis victim, you want a pony tail. Trust me, it’s awesome, especially with that new band you put together that totally isn’t only because you’re going through a mid-life crisis. Don’t worry – your secrets safe with me.
10. Finally, when you’re playing Guitar Hero, you can headband and actually have hair to head bang with. Feel proud as you violently swing your head back and forth, with a real heavy-metal plastic guitar controller in your hand. Feel the moment. It doesn’t get much better than this…

So, people, these are my 10 reasons for growing your hair. And if this doesn’t convince you, you probably wouldn’t look good with long hair anyway. Have fun 