Ok, here’s the thing, I stumbled into a random “rapper name” generator when I was bored and it got me thinking… The amusing answers that these things churn out are actually better than some of the names the real gangsta rappers of the world have come up with! So, I thought I’d compile a list – half real, half generated – and see if anyone can really tell the difference!

1) Grayskul

Yes, as in He-Man… Why a rapper would want to emulate anything to do with a body-building, blonde bob sporting cartoon superhero (was he a superhero? Or do you need a cape for that?) I will never know!

2) Trick Explicit

Hmm… marginally cool I guess… in a slightly cliché, not really making any sense whatsoever sort of way… Just what kind of trick is this? Or should I not ask…?

3) Lil’ Joint

Don’t worry, he’s been assured he’ll work his way up to a bigger one eventually… Like when your grandma assures you you’ll grow into those ridiculously oversized jumpers she insists on knitting for you…

4) Messy Marv

Wow, he must be really hard if the most bad-ass thing about him is the state of his bedroom. His momma told him to tidy it, but he said “hell no”, because that’s how he rolls.

5) Paperboy

Don’t disrespect him, or he’s gon’ deliver a paper on yo ass.

6) Method Nasty

Hmm… I wonder if he has a non-evil twin called Method Nice? (Ok, I apologise, that was an awful joke.)

7) Da Bush Babees

So… do they rap about rain forest related environmental issues, or did they honestly just think that bush babies were hard? (Even harder when you spell it with two e’s of course.) Peace up, outback down. Word to your wombat.

Ol’ Spinner

Just how ol’ are we talking here? Maybe it’s time to consider retirement, love…

9) Yak Ballz

Hmm. I think that one pretty much speaks for it self really… Moving right along.

10) Ice Sparkz

Ooh, you don’t wanna be in the way when those ice sparks start flying. Sorry, sparkz. They’re even more lethal with a z at the end.

11) Flava Deuce Deuce

If you have two favourite hobbies then why not combine them? A tennis playing rapper sounds pretty cool to me. Oh, I’m sorry, did I say cool? I meant pants.

12) Peanut Butter Wolf

Is that a wolf made of peanut butter? Or a wolf who just likes the odd jar when he can get his paws on one? Or perhaps he works in advertising and is representing the peanut butter manufacturers? Hmm… the possibilities are endless.

Right, so did you guess which ones were real and which ones were fake? Well, here’s the answer. The real, bad-ass gangsta rappers in this list are…

• 1) Grayskul
• 4) Messy Marv
• 5) Paperboy
• 7) Da Bush Babees
• 9) Yak Balls (I kid you not.)
• 12) Peanut Butter Wolf

And the moral of this story is? If you want to become a rapper, consult a random rapper name generator. PLEASE do not just attempt to use your poor little brain; it’s already overworked enough trying to handle the weight of your gold chains and diamond earrings.