Do you ever feel like your life is a mess? Do you ever wonder if you’re going to turn it around? Here are ten signs that your life is a mess:

1. You look at your little black book and realize that every girl listed in the book has rejected you
2. You start looking in the mirror and examine all your nose hairs
3. You’ve gone from a high paying corporate job to working at a fast food restaurant as a cook
4. Your house has clutter in every room. You don’t have any ideas where you’ve placed important documents.
5. You start eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches everyday. You hate eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
6. You read the obituary column everyday just to see if you recognize anyone
7. You flunk every class in school. You even flunk every pass/fail class. You spend more time in the principal’s office than you do in the classroom.
8. You wear the same dress day after day. You begin to resemble a cartoon character.
9. Your car is in the shop. Your house is being foreclosed. You’ve failed to get a raise in twenty years. Your health insurance is being eliminated.
10. Your hair has turned gray over night. You worry about everything. You can’t eat or sleep. Your eyesight is failing. And your wife is making eye contact with a young colleague at work.