Lost and Found

Two little words, lost and found, don’t we use them in the silliest manner, here are a few examples ” I was driving along, following the directions I had been given, but I must have taken a wrong turn, because I found myself lost”. How? if you are lost, then you are lost no two ways about it.” I was looking for my favorite cd, I looked everywhere, but I found that I’d lost it,” if you found it then how come it’s still lost? take more care. “Sorry I didn’t hear the phone ring as I was lost in my book,” must be one hell of a book, that’s all I can say, I’m thirteen stone and as yet I’ve never come across a book big enough to get lost in, and that’s after fifty four years of trying.

The lost property desk, that’s a good one, Handing my wallet over at this desk and exclaiming “I’d like to lose this please”, should they not call it the found property desk? “I lost my heart”, excuse me but arn’t hearts pretty essential to staying alive.” Sorry I lost my head’” ( see heart) “sorry I lost my temper,” you must be a very placid kind of guy now then. ” I lost my virginity over twenty years ago” well you can borrow mine, but try not to lose it as it’s the only one I’ve got ”I lost face” I wondered why you had that blank expression. “I found myself at a loose end” what of? a piece of string. “I found that I’d drited off to sleep” sorry but I think you only dreamt it. And finally I think I’ve lost the plot, so I’m off to find it.