Miss Bell Announces That She is Retiring

Straight From The Headlines

Miss Belle, Champion Critter Hunter Announces Her Retirement Today

Miss Belle of Clark Avenue of lower west side Cleveland announces her retirement to today and at a televised press conference. When asked why the sudden decision in the prime of her career this is what Miss Belle had to say.

“My fellow, critter catchers, there is a time in every cat’s life when he or she has comes to a crossroads. This decision has been the hardest I’ve ever had to make in my life, but it is time to move on to greener pastures. I’m sure there are other challenges out there, and I will meet them with my head held high.”

Those were the last words uttered by Miss Belle before she graciously made her departure. Also interviewed today was Mister Nutzy, local squirrel and owner of the Tree Top Inn. This is what he had to say.

“It is a great relief to all of us in the squirrel community hearing of Miss Belle’s retirement. Just last year I lost two good employees due to Miss Bell.”

When asked if he felt any animosity towards Miss Belle, Mister Nutzy only had this to say, “There is a time in every cat’s life when it is time to hang up your claws. I’m just glad that Miss Belle has realized this, and I wish her only the best.”

Also interviewed was Miss Belle long time neighbors, the McMouser family. Ed McMouser had this to say.

“Ever since we moved in the neighbor my children have lived in fear. It is just a relief that they are now free to play outside.”

When Sally McMouser was asked her thoughts on the situation this is what she had to say. “I’m just happy that we as a family can walk down the street to the local park and watch our kids play. The neighborhood is now I much safer place.”

Even though the mice, squirrel and bird communities are jumping for joy at this development, many in the feline community are weeping.

Miss Belle, a two time champion of The Feline Olympics, began her career at the tender age of three months. Her parents took great care in honing her skills by acquiring the best training. Former trainer. Sidney Catseye had this to say.

“I remember Miss Belle as a kitten. She could barely beat the bell on a string, but she had perseverance and never gave up until mastering the game. Soon she became the champion hunter I always knew she could be. It makes me proud to know I had a hand in training this great cat. She truly is a credit to the feline community.”

Sources have not confirmed what is next for Miss Belle, but we well keep you informed and up to date on any new developments.